hi I've only just joined, I didnt know where else to let it all out, my grandad has recently been diagnosed with lung cancer and because of his age they cant operate so hes on palliative radiotherapy, hes my absolute world hes more like my dad hes always been there for me and now when he needs me the most I cant be there for him and help him due to lockdown hes been told hes expected to live for a year more and the thought absolutely breaks my heart ive been so lucky to never have to lose anyone close to me and i don't know how to cope with that thought let alone go through it, everyday that goes by I can help but think it's one day closer to the end that I can't be there. I dont want to talk to the rest of my family about how hard Its hit me as they are all as scared and I'm everyone elses rock so dont want them to know how scared I am, this isn't really a question there isn't much point to this post I just want to get it off my chest and know that I'm not alone.
