Advice/ wise words/ comfort

Hi Jones78

I'm so sorry you're here but I'm sure we're in the best place for comfort and support. I dropped in myself as my mum was diagnosed with a lung tumor today, probably (not definitely) cancer but as she had a heart attack last week they can't do a biopsy at the moment to check. Anyway, she's 79 and I'm 50 and feel about 5 again desperately wanting to cling onto her but that's not why I'm replying.

I'm replying because 3 years ago I had womb cancer. Luckily only turned out to be grade 1 stage 1a but for a while I didn't know this and the waiting is difficult. Of course cancer leaves its mark and lessons no matter how small or short lived, it's always there in the back of your mind if not physically but you do count blessings every day. 

I thought I would let you know that I'm finding some comfort in knowing that it's a bit easier being on the other side in a lot of ways. Although no-one obviously wants to have cancer both me and my mum said that we feel (felt) quite philosophical and more worried about telling loved ones than by having cancer and just feeling like it's harder for loved ones. Now having been on both sides it's different but both are a bit rubbish.

As far as coping...forums like this. I also found a wonderful book called the Cancer Whisperer by Sophie Sabbage. It offers hope and possible plans of action for worst case scenario.

It does get a bit easier for the mind once the waiting is over and there is a treatment plan.

Wishing you and your sister the very best 

Helen xxx

P. S. If it feels like it's taking forever then phone either the Cancer Nurse Specialist if allocated one yet, and if not, look on any consultant's letter and there should be a secretary's phone number. They will sometimes chase results up for you. Either way I would think they'd let you know before Christmas. 

Hi Jones78,

the waiting for me was was the worst part because, you don’t know what you’re dealing with. My mum went through it 4 years ago, and all we did was fill our time in and keep busy. Once the diagnosis came we faced it head on and dealt with what we needed to. I can imagine you are being strong but, make sure you have some you time. It is extremely emotional to go through something like this, and it’s hard for you as well as your sister I’m sure because you’re the support. 

You’re doing amazing, and carry on being strong but look after yourself. 

Take care and I hope for the best out of the situation 

Sharne 

x

Thank you for responding we have had a diagnosis now just waiting on biopsy results which will tell us what her treatment plan will be, she is full of anxiety about it all and so am I, I’m trying to manage it all just looking for any advice  how to manage all this thank you for your words 

Hannah x

Hi Jones78

We too are awaiting for some more results that will give us a guidline on how long we have left with mum. 

I dont think there is a right or wrong way to feel. Speaking from my experience this week, i have felt all sorts of emotions such as numbness, tearfulness, anger, panic attacks and not wanting to leave the house some days.  The waiting is awful and feels like everything takes forever even when ir doesn't really. 

Just take one day at a time at the moment and allow yourself to feel what you need to. 

I hope everything comes together for you all. Wishing you all a peaceful and calm Christmas.