Not coping.

Hello

Sorry you haven't had a reply so far, but I wonder if it is because you haven't mentioned what type of cancer your Mum has/had.  If you could let us know (perhaps on your profile as well), then the people who have been through the same treatment as your Mum will offer you some advice.

As her daughter, even though she is pushing you away, I am sure she knows you love her and all you can do is keep trying to do what's best for her.  When she is feeling better in herself, she will no doubt be extremely grateful that you persevered!

If you would rather, you could contact Macmillan and see if they can offer you some advice in relation to your Mum's condition.

Kindest wishes,

Hi you are not alone in being pushed away! I am too and I am not supposed to talk about it !!! I want to talk about it and find out what I can!!! 
Practically. I am a qualified nurse and I can offer basic advice although not a cancer specialist! Basic nursing skills no longer seem to exist in hospitals anymore!!! And symptom control seems poor! I have found the hospice good for this! 
I would suggest that you talk to maybe your GP regarding the saliva production, there maybe a mouth spray which can help! Maybe a mouth wash too! They used to use something called difflam but that maybe out dated! And helped if the mouth got sore! Try things to keep the mouth fresh like pineapple juice too! 
I would keep food portions small and only things she fancies to start with! It may be helpful to purée the food to help with swallowing or soups! 
Talk to your nurse or GP abut possibly thickeners which go in liquids, often used for stroke patients with swallowing difficulties and maybe some food supplement drinks! These can be prescribed as they are expensive to buy over the counter! Yoghurt might be refreshing too and is a good consistency and live yoghurt is good as it protects the natural flora/fauna in the mouth! 
Try small portions little and often! Don’t make food or drinks too hot as they are harder to swallow!

Hope this gives some ideas to you xxx

Hi, really not alone. My mum is similar, and it does seem like nothing you do is right or can help. I hate the feeling of her being trapped in herself as well. Its horrid. Keeping things together is also pretty tough, cause you know its hardest for them but its also tough for you. I feel like im coping some days and then others i want to cry and cry and cry. I even feel that people around me are bored of me trying to open up about it if you get me? It's shite. no other way to say it. its just horrid. But you aren't alone and i can assure you, you are doing your best and its amazing