Last days of life care of my Dad

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear this. There are just no words to describe the feelings. My Dad was diagnosed with osophageal cancer in August last year. The last week of November on a Monday he was told there was nothing more the hospital could do and treatment didn't help. Wednesday Dad went into the hospice and died the early hours of Sunday morning. 

To this day I am still in shock and can understand how you feel. I certainly felt and still do have flashback to the last few days. 

Be kind to yourself as much as you can and make every minute count. Even when our Dad was not really able to talk back to us we still spoke to him. 

I’m so sad for you. I was in your position 5 weeks ago & it feels like yesterday.

 I only know how I felt & that was like I wanted to run away & hide till it was all over but I also didn’t want to leave my Dad for a second. 

I’m really thinking of you

laura xx

my dad passed away on sunday 25th august he had bowel cancer i feel like my world has ended i adore my dad hes everything to me so i can totally relate. life will never be the same again im still inpain and it hurts so much i miss him like crazy. its really hard life trying to live without him i feel like i just cnt come to terms with the fact he has gone to heaven now. it just kills me inside theres nothing i can do i just feel so helpless

Yeah we are doing and we ve made some lovely memories. It's so hard to know that I m not going to have him in my life anymore. My mum passed away nearly 7 years ago after a 5 year battle with cancer, then 9 months later my Dad was diagnosed with the prostate cancer. It just never seems to end the upset.

Thank you 

Sara 

Hi hi my heart goes out to you ..five weeks ago I lost my Dad very suddenly ..cuddle your Dad talk to him even sing as he might not be able to talk but can still hear you ...hold his hand struck his arms what ever gives you confort ...it's so very hard .  ..I miss my Dad so very much and my husband passed away on Tuesday I am in shock as he was ill yes but did not think he was so near death got 28 hours in hospital with him befor he passed ..did all the things I did with my Dad a few weeks ago ...don't leave anything unsaid ...thinking of you x

I'm so very sorry for your loss, I've walked your path and can understand your pain. I felt like I'd been left literally heartbroken, a constant actual ache in my chest. It's been 3yrs since he passed from lung cancer. He was my security net, my comfort blanket, my strength. He was a very special man who lifted me out of post natal depression and never gave up on me, when I had lost hope. He was the only person that couldve helped me with this grief. 

It has been a very lonely path, no one will grieve like you. Your relationship was unique and so will be your pain. But now I am stronger, I can remember the happy times, talk to his pictures, remember him with a smile and talk about him without crying. This pain is the price we pay when we love and are loved so deeply. I would never change what we had, I am an extremely fortunate daughter who knows her worth. If this is the price, so be it. I will grieve for my dear dad forever, its just that now I can miss him without the constant physical pain and tears. I pray that God gives you strength in these difficult times and that you feel comforted by knowing that you are loved so very much. xx

All you can do is be there, tell him how much you love him and share stories of happy times, lift his heart even though yours is breaking. It will comfort you in time to come. I took pictures of me holding my dad's hands, I carry that picture in my purse, it means so much to me now. I will never let go of what we had, he was a man that loved company and everyone loved his. Special people leave a mark, 3 yrs on my siblings and I often get told of how much my dad is missed. It brings comfort to my mum to know we aren't the only ones.

Cherish the time you have, take pictures, videos, tell him what he means to you. Telling my dad that it was OK to let go and that we are going to be fine was the hardest thing I've ever said, I said it for him not for me, but I have no regrets saying it. Hug him and hold his hand. My heart aches for your situation, I know it too well. May God give you strength. xx

I'm so so sorry that you are going through this. I recently was in the same position with my Grandma, she was diagnosed in June and passed away in July, 

I was grateful that I had 5 precious weeks with her, where i visited her everyday, and also everyday when she went into the Hospice, I miss her terribly, and no one will be able to replace the grandma grand-daughter relationship that we shared. I used to visit her all the time, and if i couldn't then i always rang her. 

Everyone has their own way of dealing with this, however I would say cherish each minute, each second and hour, say the things that you always wanted to say, tell them that you love them because the hearing is the last thing to go, hold their hand and reassure them. 

I agree as heart breaking as it is, tell them it's ok, and "All is well" and when the time comes it's ok to go, It was truly heartbreaking for me to say this to my Gran, but she mentioned to me before she went that she was scared that we would all be ok, and I think saying this is reassuring. 

Also saying thank you, i wrote my Grandma a letter that she was able to read, and I said it to her in the hospital and even though she might not have been aware, to me it was like she nodded her head as if to say it's ok. 

I was there when my Grandma passed, and I'm glad she had her family around her, holding her hand, I too took a photo of us before she died, and holding her hand, these are special memories that I will forever cherish. 

I'm so sorry your going through this, but everyone on this site is amazing and will be there for you every step of the way

Cherish these moments, don't be scared to let go, it's not goodbye, it's just see you later, until we meet again.

Hope x

Well it's now 18 days and 17 hours since my Dad passed away. My sister and I stayed with Dad for 5 days. He passed away peacefully at 5 :39 am. I have felt a range of different feelings. When Dad passed away I washed and dressed his body.... This was something I needed to do for him as the hospital no longer feels that bodies should be washed. I found this profoundly disrespectful... As I have worked in care for the past 6 years I wanted to do it. I also carried my Dad's coffin. I felt so so proud and honoured to do this. I have come back to work now I was really worried how I would manage but hopefully I will be able to keep busy and remain working in care xx