Mum and feeling guilty

FormerMember
FormerMember
  • 3 replies
  • 15 subscribers
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Hi, 

My mum has had a bit of a health journey these last 2 years.  She needed bowel surgery and now has a permanant bag and an associated hernia which is too risky to remove.  She has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.  We are very close as we both have the same eye condition.  We are both registered legally blind but both have a little usable sight.  I just feel so helpless.  My dad has just retired as mum needs a lot of support managing the stoma.  The thing that is difficult is that my mum takes out her frustraitions on me.  I feel so guilty but she has said some pretty hurtful stuff.  I dont  feel I can tell her how I feel while she is going through treatment.  I feel bad for even feeling this way when it is her with the cancer not me.   Can anyone relate to this. 

  • Hello HazelG,

    At least you've taken the first step in joining this site. I'm so sorry she's taking things out on u. It's probably the cancer she's really angry with.

    But that doesn't help u, does it?  

    Might I suggest u join the Family and friends group to get support for yourself. Then if u want to, u could also join the Bowel cancer and Breast, secondary cancer grouos - to get more info from members re your mum's situation. 

    How about ringing the helpline too on 0808 808 0000, 8am to 8pm- to talk things thru with someone.?

    Don't feel guilty whatever u do. You're doing your best in a rubbish situation.

    Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
  • Hello HazelG,

    At least you've taken the first step in joining this site. I'm so sorry she's taking things out on u. It's probably the cancer she's really angry with.

    But that doesn't help u, does it?

    U  could join the Bowel cancer and Breast, secondary cancer groups to help - to get more info from members re your mum's situation. ,if u want to.

    How about ringing the helpline too on 0808 808 0000, 8am to 8pm- to talk things thru with someone.?

    Don't feel guilty whatever u do. You're doing your best in a rubbish situation.

    Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
  • Sorry for duplicating. This site's so slow sometimes n I'm impatient!

    Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.