Hello all, I really needed to come in today as I'm just desperate to get some help.
Mum has breast cancer and last year found out it had spread to her bones. It seemed to be well under control but around 3 weeks ago she started feeling unwell. The doctors scanned and scanned and found some liver mets.
I have spoke to the consultants who read the scans. Light load on the liver, liver function is OK, no jaundice, good candidate for treatment. But she's home from hospital and we are managing the inflammation etc.
Dad is at work, my husband is at work in another city, its just me in the house, this quiet house looking after mum who is sleeping quite a bit as her meds are making her drowsy.
In speaking to her consultant he sounded positive but since Monday she has been home and I'm here on my own until after 5 when my dad comes home.
The worry is eating me alive at the moment. I can't seem to retain the positives in my head from the consultant, I'm so tired and so frightened that I don't know what to do. I wake up and remember and I just feel so low and helpless, worrying about the future.
Please help.
I just posted a reply to u n it's disappeared!
Basically, I said I was sorry no one in this group had replied to you, that I'm not a member but spotted your post in passing. I'm an ordinary member of the community, been living with kidney cancer for the past 14 years- including having a brain met in 2013 which was successfully treated.
Enough about me.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this alone. How about ringing the helpline on 0808 808 0000 to talk to someone?
You could also join the Liver, secondary tumours and Bone, secondary tumours group to get in contact with folk who know more about what your mum's experiencing, as well as the Breast cancer group
It's often harder for family n friends of those affected by cancer than the person themselves. Hope u soon get some responses from those in this group .
Sending u a big virtual hug x
PS Try not to think of what ifs, focussing instead of the now
Btw, I'm still around if u want to talk to me instead, tho I'll have a different take on things of course
I'm just so very afraid and I feel very alone. Not sure how I'm going to deal with it all. She's having a bad day today, combo of not sleeping and a steroid on an empty stomach. Bht I'm watching her like she's about to break.
Hmm, steroid on an empty stomach not a good idea. Does she take it with breakfast normally? It'll keep her awake if she takes it before bed.
Is there anybody else - family or friends - u can talk to?
You could try distracting yourself, eg by reading a book, listening to music on headphones. Anything so you're not just watching her....
You r never alone with the support from the community
Hi puggy,
I'm sorry to see you're in this situation too. Rubbish isn't it.
I'm no expert but if you need to vent, I'm willing to listen..... X
Yes it's not ideal. She's at the chemo clinic next week so we have a focus point which is helping. I'm taking a few hours off tomorrow but have worked to find a regime for her meds which seems to make her feel the best.
It feels like a lot of pressure. I hope I'll get used to it.
Thanks so much, youve all been so nice. I know it sounds so basic but I don't want her to die. She's so young and vibrant it's just not fair.
Hi,there
just seen your post,I hope your mum is doing better,you sound so frightened,
i don’t know your situation but.i am 56 years old.I was diagnosed with breast cancer 2016,Thought I had beat it but no luck,was diagnosed
April this year with bone and liver mets.I hope once the onocoligist puts a treatment plan in place for your mum things hopefully will get better.
I have a daughter who is 33 years old and she was so upset to hear my news,but now my treatment is in place she seems happier
she knows that this awful disease will not be easy to bare,but we take each day as it comes.
You sound like a caring daughter,but remember if you become unwell with all that you are doing, and the worry that you have you will find it hard.
So try and not be to hard on yourself.
if you need to chat please feel free.
xxxxxxxx
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