Hi everyone
im new to the group so I’m sorry if I go on a bit!!
im totally heartbroken my daughter is 5 months pregnant with her first baby and we found out yesterday that my son in laws leukaemia has returned for the second time..he was 2 years remission! It feels our world has been ripped apart when we should be celebrating this new little life , many people have said it will give him the strength to fight even more but I’m just so scared for them I know I need to be strong but I’m failing miserably and feel I’m letting them down! To see your own child so scared is unbearable to watch. As a Mum I’m meant to take all the hurt away but there is nothing I can do!
any help would be gratefully appreciated
many thanks xx
Hey And welcome to the community, although I'm so sorry for the reason you find yourself here.
Firstly, congratulations to your daughter, in regards to being pregnant, I hope the baby is doing well. This post was just heartbreaking to read, such a big thing like the arrival of a baby, especially the first baby, should be nothing but happiness, but it's so horrible that yours and your families experience has been rocked by your son in laws diagnosis.
You really aren't failing miserably at being there for them; you are probably one of the biggest comforts they have right now, and you're soon to be a Nan, that's a wonderful thing. I know how difficult it is to remain positive, when you're falling apart yourself. My mums diagnosis of an aggressive form of breast cancer was a huge blow, so I know how you feel. I also know how it feels when you know you have to be strong, but inside you feel anything but strong.
But, as I'm sure a few people have told you, he has gotten through this once, and he will fight it again. For his new baby, and for all of you. Just be there for them both, even if they want a cry, a rant, or to just talk about something completely random! As long as you're there, you're making everything seem that little bit easier, and every bad day a little brighter. Theres nothing quite like the love of a Mum, so take comfort in that in itself. But also take time for yourself, even if it's just to step outside the house for just 5 minutes, to collect your thoughts, have a moment to yourself and a few deep breaths, even a cry if you dont want to do it in front of family. Or do something you enjoy, take time to do things for you, you need to be strong to be strong for them, so finding some kind of normality like doing things you enjoy may help. I found that drawing, which I've always loved, helped me a lot. Each night, just try to think of a positive from each day. Even write them down (I do and put them in a jar, so I can read them at the end of each year) so you can look back at them when you're feeling extra low.
I hope your Daughter is well (health wise), I hope your son in law starts treatment and isn't too rough throughout it, and I hope you know how strong you already are. Keep smiling, and keep being you.
Lots of love, Light and healing to you and your family, and, although this is a tough time, congratulations to you on becoming a Grandma.
Alex xxxxx
Dearest Alex
thank you from the bottom of heart for your beautiful words they made me cry happy tears that a stranger could be so lovely and caring..your mum must be so proud of you she has raised such a wonderful daughter.
As you know it’s the hardest feeling in the world to see someone you love so much go through this horrible disease and there is absolutely nothing you can do to take the worry and pain away.
I wish you and your mum so my love, take care of each other. Make lots of lovely memories xx
once again a huge thank you
Gaynor xxx
Oh I'm so glad I helped even a little bit, and glad that those tears were happy ones and not sad, like the other ones you've shed a lot lately.
I know it's so hard watching them go through it, and wishing you could take it away. But keep remembering that he will get through this, and even on the hard days, he will have all of you helping him through, that's the biggest thing that can help him, and you and your family are doing a brilliant job of being there for him.
I'm always here, as is the community, so if you ever want to talk, you know where I am. Even if you just want to rant about how unfair this is (like I've done a few times!) Have a normal chat, or if you just want to speak to someone who understands, then I'll be here for you.
Lots of love,
Alex xxxx
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