My Dad

Hi Crookshanks welcome to the forum and I am so sorry to hear about what is happening for you as a family and how this has left you all feeling.

This whole situation is very very stressful and there are no easy answers to any of it all unfortunately. You both seem to be doing all that you can for your mum and dad though and lets face it there is a limit to what any of us can do except be there.

I wonder if it would help for you and your brother to have someone to talk with about how you are feeling and believe me this situation would be stressful for any of us. However, I hope that maybe your brother was saying what he said to you as that is how he was feeling and not something that he felt that he would act out on.

I would urge you both to give the Macmillan Line a call they are open from 8am-8pm 7 days per week and the staff there are great listeners 08088080000. Or if you felt that you wanted to talk to someone and have them listen and Macmillan are not available after 8pm then the Samaritans are there for anyone who is feeling overwhelmed by their situation and are contactable on 116123.

I can only think that the Hospital will check that your dad is fit for that surgery and if they feel that he is not then that surgery may not go ahead. 

Im am so sorry about what is happening for you all right now but people are here and can listen and offer some words of comfort for you all at the most challenging time of your lives so keep talking.

Meantime Im sending some huge big hugs your way for now, xxxx

I just wanted to thank you so much for your kind words (even if they made me cry - but everything does right now) It was nice to have someone be so understanding. I think sometimes you just need someone not so close to the situation to talk to and I've been struggling to find anyone.

I think Saturday was just a really bad day with everything happening and it all getting on top of us. Things are slightly easier now - my brother has managed to get himself sorted, I believe he did speak to the Samaritans and he has been to the doctors. I'm just trying to be strong for everyone, do whatever they ask of me and help as much as I can - even if it's only doing laundry. 

I'm nervous about this surgery this week, but I will trust the doctors and everyone - I know it's going to be a long, emotional, grueling week, but I hope this will start us on the road to recovery, even though I know that's going to be long. I'm staying with my Mum at the hospital (there's a hotel attached, as we have to travel about 2 hours to the hospital)

But, thank you once again, it helped me to vent a little and to receive some kind words. 

X

Hi there, 

just read this- my dad is I’ll, had renal cancer for 5 years now gone to his bones. Spent the last 8 months in and out of hospital with one thing and another..often I’ve thought this could be it, then he comes round for a week, then we’re back to square 1 again. He’s had only about 2 weeks of decent mobility and health in the last 8 months..It’s tough...I’m 200 miles away, my mum (also in her 70s) is struggling with care, but wants to do it herself rather than carers offered..my brother is closer and does all he can..but in reality, it’s just awful..I long to find a way to bring moments of happiness, trips out, looking at nature etc..the reality is far more brutal..dad can’t keave the house, whether it’s mobility pain or side effects from the medication. I share this to say, you’re not alone, I’m here, struggling every day, and it’s tough xxx feel free to message me anytime... it’s defintely not like the ads I’ve seen on TV..it’s hard to find that comfort for dad and all of us xxx

Hi ya firstly massive massive hugs. I get where your family is, my dad got diagnosed with this cancer end of last year but due to alcoholism and dementia nothing can be done. Then mum got diagnosed with cancer (2 years after they first saw it.) 

I have mental health issues and now sleeping issues, I have a sibling and we try to share but it isn't easy with our own lives 

Where about do you live?

I would also suggest speaking to macmillan, they maybe have some groups in your area you can get some support from.

Normally I would offer but things aren't good with my parents at the moment so won't be any help xx