Feeling Alone

I know exactly how you feel, I too have lots of people to talk to and offering help and count myself very lucky but I also miss doing all of the things we used to do together.  He can't even sleep in our bed now, that's when I do  most of my crying. He sleeps a lot of the day and he struggles with most things now. This will sound harsh but I feel as if I have lost him already as his personality has changed. I feel helpless most of the time. I don't think you are selfish, you are important as well.

love and hugs, June xx

Hi June, 

Yes I think it's the not doing things together that is really hard to deal with and this is all new to us, I worry for the future. Our lives have literally just been thrown upside down! It's so so horrible. I feel selfish for having popped out for some retail therapy and lunch today. I just find it all so hard.

Love and hugs Sarah xx

Hi Sarah, it's hard not to feel guilty but we have to keep ourselves well which means having a life of sorts so that we can be there for them for as long as they need us. Feel free to express your feelings, I'm sure everyone who is going through this nightmare will understand. 

Love and hug June xx

Hi Sarah, l understand how you feel. The dark nights have been the worse, husband either in bed early or watching sport and more sport on the lounge TV. Me watching my programmes in my bedroom, which on times feels like a prison cell. Our social life has gone to pot, although l do Zumba for one hour a week . My wonderful GP,  l am on antidepressants for anxiety, told me to go out with my friends and talk. I don't  though  don't like leaving him for long. Don't beat yourself up, guilt is what most of us feel. Remember you are doing your best. You are a carer not a Saint. X

Thank you all for saying just how I feel the only time I dont worry about him is when he is at Day services at the local hospice He is picked up fed and watered and is safe and well looked after .I meet my sister and best friend once a week work weekends and pick up and take my grandsons to school when my daughter is working .I know as Bills diesease progresses this may end and we have thought about that .At the moment being occupied keeps the fear at bay a little but early mornings and the middle of the night its not so easy to ignore . Keep posting lovely carers we are all here for each other xx 

Hi Sarah,

i have no one to talk to and feel desperately alone. My husband is in total denial and ostracised me for trying to reach out for support. You are not selfish this cancer thing is horrendous and creeps into all of our lives and destroys everything in its path. I hope you can remain strong and as I do try to remember that whenever I feel low neither of us asked for this and hang onto the good memories 

Hi Sunset19

I'm sorry to hear the way things have become for you. It's all so very hard and I guess as we all deal with things differently it must be incredibly difficult for you. I keep trying to avoid the why us and why me, why now yes thoughts. Obviously all of those thoughts are very real but I am well aware that nothing can stop way is happening. The lonely feeling is obviously still evident for me right now even though I have people offering support everywhere. So I can't imagine how bad it must be for you. Please keep in touch if you would like to .