Hi, I’m new to these groups today. My partner went into hospital at the start of April with suspected kidney stones. After a a cancer diagnosis and 2 rounds of chemo, we got told today that he probably only has months left. While his family fall apart I have to stay strong for our 7yr old. Yet all I want to do I breakdown. When I get all tearful I have to hide and compose myself. I’ve got help around me but bedtimes etc are really hard. Our son is the youngest in the family who is at a stage of understanding. I was 39 on Monday, my partner is 48.
I know you posted the message while ago but it’s so relevant to me... our son is also 7 and our daughter is 2.
Back in February my husband( he is 45) went to hospital with pain in his arm after a fall at work. We thought he pulled a muscle or something like that but we were told it’s cancer. Month later the tests revealed that the primary cancer is in his kidney and it had spread to his arm. He also has small nodules in his his lungs... we were told it’s not curable but they can try and manage it...
Our world has collapsed over night... self employed builder with no arm - you can imagine...
he had an operation in May - they removed almost the whole bone in his left arm and put a metal bone instead( amazing what they can do) and he is now on a third round of Cabozantinib.
I would like to ask you though how is your husband dealing with all the news, diagnosis and treatment etc.
Hi, I'm so sorry to read your message. I hope you guys are coping ok.
He's dealing with it ok, on the outside. However, he was in the military and suffered with PTSD and I have seen elements of this showing again. Some days he's really positive, others you can tell he's got the weight of the world on his shoulders.
He suffered really badly with the side effects of chemo. The pain worsened, was completely knackered all the time etc. We were told over the summer that the chemo has done nothing and the prognosis was that he only has months left. Like you said, it feels like our world has collapsed. We've got to try and live everyday as best we can and make the best memories we can.
It’s up and down here - luckily my husband is much better than he was. The first three months between his diagnosis and the operation he literally spent flat on the sofa, he’d lost 3 stones and was in complete denial. It was the hardest time in my life...my son was all over the place, he was angry because he didn’t know what is going on...
when he got home from hospital he started talking about it and it was a massive breakthrough for us and really helped to cope with it all.
We are on a third round of Cabozantinib at the moment and he is really struggling with the side effects so it’s tough...
i am having a bit of crisis myself ( this is why I joined the community, I needed to talk to someone who would understand. I am just so fed up with everyone telling me to stay strong and positive)
I just wish he was a bit more positive about it all... I’ve found a really good book - “the cancer whisperer” by Sophie Sabbage - it really helped me to look at the situation in a completely different way... I wish he wanted to read it and make some changes....
it’s going to be a new day tomorrow... kids will make me smile again
My son keeps me smiling. Without him I think I’d be a mess!
We were back at the hospital today, they think e may have an infection but don’t know where. He was sent home but if there is any hint of cold/flu etc then it’s straight to A+E. It’s just so relentless.
