Can't describe my feelings

 It's totally normal to be upset, anxious & have an array of emotions.  Talking really does help have you tried talking to the MacMillan nurses.  Also the hospital you are under should be able to advise on support groups & therapy.  The forum is great & lots of support on here.  You are not alone, there is a whole community on here who understand what you & your husband are going through.   I totally get how hard it can be to talk openly about concerns, fears etc.  My partner has been a rock but I could see he was struggling & trying to be brave for me.  I thinks its just as hard for our loved ones.  Please don't feel you are alone in this, reach out tallk to others.

Thank you, I'm hoping that once the news sinks in a bit more that I'm not feeling so teary, I think I'm annoyed with myself. The support nurse that we spoke to at the hospital was amazingly kind and approachable and your reply is reassuring too. 

Thank you so much for your kind reply. ️

I can so relate to what you are saying. I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. Life is so unfair. My husband was diagnosed in November and we were given the news on boxing day that he had a grade 4 brain tumour. Its been a long road with many twists and turns but 3 weeks ago had his radiotherapy. We know its terminal, and if it comes back will be very aggressive. He has been amazing, so positive, although is struggling a bit now. I'm a mess, and feel really guilty about it because its not about me. I have support from family and friends but all I want to do when I look at him is cry. 

Thank you, I'm sorry you're having to go through this too. Your husband sounds a brave man like my husband. 

Hi, I can understand fully what you are going through. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in June and started her treatment several weeks ago. It’s a really scary time and it blindsides you completely. Everyone says be strong and we would ordinarily consider ourselves to be strong but thats not easy some days given what some days entail. My advice having got through that initial part is to be open and honest and talk about your feelings with one another, it really helps to take the pressure off feeling like you have to hide to protect each other. Neither of us are ones for spilling our feelings so I got us both a journal to write in. Its use is a little sporadic at the moment but on some of the harder days it can help to articulate how you feel. It’s going to be hard for you both in different ways but one thing I would advise is to ensure you do look after yourself and have someone you can talk to. 
Take comfort in knowing people around you care and joy in the smaller things when days feel harder.

Wishing you both all the best 

Thank you for your kind reply. I spoke to our son at the weekend and he was very supportive even though he's feeling it too. I'm trying to keep busy and have been working on the garden today which has helped me. It's when I wake in the early hours that I have almost a paralysing fear. I like the idea of jotting down how we feel. I send my very best wishes to your wife and yourself and thank you again. 

Sending hugs. It the early hours that gets to me. Your mind just goes into overdrive. Hes taken a bit of a downwards turn. 4 weeks post radiotherapy and he is still absolutely exhausted. Had review yesterday and because fatigue is the only symptom they think it's most likely the radiotherapy but will do an MRI to rule out regrowth of the brain tumour. More waiting, more worrying. It just never ends.