I am missing the physical touch, comfort and yes - sex. My partner had really big ears and a big wonky nose - I miss rubbing his ear lobe and stroking the side of his nose and face. I miss being touched and hugged. He was 6'3 and in his prime a right big unit at 20 stone. . Not having other family or children am rather starved of physical contact - and with covid I dont really get to cuddle or touch anyone.
Rather to quick to get in with a bear hug if any friend is willing - but not in a clingy, 'get off me' , 'stop grabbing my leg' sort of way. I am a bit of a Tomboy and my partner and I did lark about a bit - so I miss being prodded in the ribs at the exact point he knew I hated, or he'd suddenly sneak up behind me and lick the side of my face like a giant dog - I hated that too, and would return with playful dead leg or something.
I also think that the randy old goat side of him has been turning up in my dreams or as a saucy ghost visitation. Cant tell my friends that - so here is likely the only place I can say this. I think what dies with the person is the sharing of so much intimacy that no one ever knows about or sees, and sometimes it all feels too big to hold as an alone person.
Awwh shit......, crying now.
Lizzy and I are certainly "doing it!" 
(I could be in a whole heap.of trouble for that!)
"Sometimes life is hideous, other times it's worse!"
Following your message I've decided tonight to write all those memories down, all those things I can't share with anyone because they're too intimate, and it's a great idea. It is very sweet to go bac
k to all those memories!
