Anniversary

So I have been having a really crap week this week just no motivation to do anything or go anywhere. It just dawned on me last night that today (30th April) is 14 years since I lost my dad to metastatic lung cancer and COPD.  This is the first year I think I have actually forgotten about it. I have been so busy thinking about Jays passing coming up in June so I am thinking subconsciously this is what it has been about. My dad was a big influence to me when I was growing up and I would go to him a lot for advice on some things he just always knew the right things to say and being the youngest I was a `daddy's girl.` My mum is gone 30 years this November she like Jay passed with bowel cancer only I didn't know that until a couple of years ago when my sister told me. I think my dad thought he was  protecting us by not saying at the time but my sister found out some way. So cancer has been a bit of a b'strd to me and my family and Jay too he lost his dad and brother to it as well. Lovely weather today outside but really couldn't care less and feel that I just have no other option but to just `go with this` until it passes whenever that will be. Take care all.