Holiday alone

That’s brilliant. Well done. Pushing outside of your comfort zone can be hard, but extremely rewarding. My current new area is car maintenance. I know now where the cam belt is, now. We went to Dorset a couple of weeks ago. I did the coolant, oil, screen wash, tyre pressure, new wind screen wipers and bulbs.  Next, will be getting it through the MOT. 

Wow! Thats impressive, I  was proud of myself when I put air in the tyres for the first time and haven’t progressed beyond that. 

Well done, Dee, I Youve done so well doing that even if you dont ever do it again, you can be rightly proud.

I am nowhere near that point, dont know if I ever will be but we werent big travellers anyway, preferring short breaks in UK

Its out 35th (coral) anniversary tomorrow and I have no idea what to do. Stay home, probably crying all day, or take an easy day trip and just potter by myself. 

Well Done You Deed!!

I don't feel brave enough to do anything like that I am similar to Malengwa not much of a traveller and Kate well done finding your way around the car. I am just relieved to get mine through the MOT so far it has gone through 2 with no major issues that was always Jay's department. I know where the diesel goes and like you Deed  manage to inflate the tyres and see to the insurance, road tax and wash it periodically so thats about my limit. Other little things I am still learning along the way and when I so something on my own I can see it as `little wins`. 

I got my motorbike licence 20 years ago. I thought ‘If the boys can do it, so can I’. Never say never. Kate.xxx

Yes, you should be very proud of yourself . I could never take a trip abroad alone. I went to Venice with my Sister for 4 nights and I was nervous doing that. Especially with the new check in and security procedures. I cried every day . It's a Beautiful place and I just wish my Hubby had been there before he got so sick . You say you won't do it again ,but perhaps you would enjoy a singles short trip by coach somewhere like my friend did last year. She lost her Husband 11 years ago . He was my Hubby's Best friend . She is far braver than me . And has made the pledge not to be the Grieving Widow , but a Merry one . Not sure it was or has always been that way but she never misses an opportunity. Although she is comfortably well off unlike me. 1st April this year was our 48 th W. Anniversary, Then we had all the Birthdays last month . It was a difficult month for me as I anticipated. This week completes a full year of him leaving me . And I wish I could erase the date and time . In some ways it's hard to believe it's a whole year and in other times it seems so very long since I saw him and we spoke. I can only take one day at a time . I don't want to think of my future without him ,it's too painful.  Never a day goes by that I don't cry for him. I have still to make a little garden area for him at the back. I need to section a part off so the dogs don't pee on the tree , flowers and Angel my family bought in memory of him. I've not felt motivated to do much of anything lately so no idea when that will get done. I bought two lovely rose trees last week which I intended putting at the back .but decided they had a better chance of survival at the front. Lots to do in the house , but if the weather is good like yesterday was ,I escape into the garden where I sometimes manage to get some respite from constantly thinking of what I've lost. 

It's very hard not to think of what we used to have and what might have been. Also hard not to resent that other people still have these things. I can't imagine going on holiday again, there really is nobody I want to spend that much time with. If I'm ever brave enough it will be just me and the dog in a cottage somewhere. Maybe one day?