Overwhelmed again

Hi Sheila 

This morning I got put my hand on box with Diane ashes in said happy birthday at nite I do the same but say good nite seem to give me a strange sensation like when I picked them up  I ran my fingers down her pictures asking her to come home I cuddle up with all the pillows every nite too say good nite and tell her I love her  ask to come and see me if only for a hour now and again nite sound mad but it calms me down sometimes 

I have good days and bad days like we all do  remember what said before close your eyes  Bob is in your head heart and soul. And will always be and your memories  bring bob home see if it helps  when I’m ready I will scatter Diane ashes but not yet 

we are all a big family on here listening to each other 

Martin x

Hi Ali 

sorry you had a bad day hope it’s better tomorrow  my day was as could see by what I wrote 

take the day off for birthday I wish had but better to be busy  tho 

Remember cuddle the pillows  tell him you love him not the same I know but it helps me 

take care nite 

martin x

no binges to nite I ran out of chocolate lol  x

Hi Martin

i might have to bring Bob home as funeral directors only keep ashes for 3 months and might not be able to scatter him with all my family together with this corona virus going on. Bit scared at the thought of it though!

going to limit myself to a couple of biscuits only tonight.

sleep well

Sheila x

Hi Sheila 

I went to see Diane in the chapel of rest before the funeral it was something I needed to do 

and the ashes I brought home because I wanted her home with me where she belongs  do not be scared to bring bob home put your hand on the box or urn I felt a strange sensation  

sleeping cuddling up with pillows works for me . now I’m sleeping in the middle of bed and she use to moan at me about that she would say do you need all the bed you are like a hot water bottle my memories in my head heart and soul 

was that two biscuits and not two packets   

have a good day everyone 

martin x

every body 

Thanks Martin for your replies.

Sheila, with regard to Bob's ashes, I didn't want Mark's at home then all of a sudden on Christmas Eve I thought "what am I doing leaving him in that cold dark place alone all over Christmas?" So I called FD and he bought them straight round. They are now on his bedside table and I find them quite comforting knowing he is here. I have a little vase by them and put a single red rose in for Valentines Day. I will scatter them when I'm ready as I don't want him trapped in a box forever.  I know we're all different but that's what I've done.

Hope you both have a good day. I've woken with a cold this morning, it is just a cold, runny nose and eyes, but think I will be treated like a leper at work!

Love and hugs Ali x

Hi Ali 

I will scatter the ashes I believe we should be free when we die not trapped in a box I put two white roses in the coffin Valentine’s Day did don’t turn tv on or radio on I could not 

the leaper  thing I drive a truck for a living I’m already a leaper lol 

have a good day to take care throw the pot noodle back at them today 

martin x

Hi Ali / Martin,

i am actually considering bringing him home now as thinking what u said Ali the thought of him being in funeral home or in the house he loved is a no brainier and I will scatter him when all this madess is over. I also have a red rose by his Angel wings sculpture.

Ali can’t believe how people treated you I’d have had to say “it’s only food I’ve just lost my husband”!!!

Martin - 6 biscuits only which by my standard was restrained!

Only good news in this social isolating is my speed awareness course has been cancelled this morning. Result!

ive been out and bought paint for fencing and decking so if I have to go into full isolation I can be productive at least and I even ordered a new patio set of furniture which was something bob and I couldn’t agree on as we wanted different things so I’ve done it hope he likes my choice.

Have the best day you can chat later

Sheila

Hi Ali

That is disgusting behaviour! 

Big hugs xxx

Hi Martin and Shelia,

The inquest is supposed to be may 25th! I did have a letter from the coroner himself on weds apologising for his assistants behaviour and saying he will deal with me direct now. That helped a bit! 

Shelia I collected Ric slightly unexpectedly and he is in the summer house but it has been comforting.although I may have to scatter him later than I planned..

I could do with a chat with him tonight. I messaged him but I know I won't have a reply! Not sure what to do! We have been told today we will be having Corona infected patients, not what we expected and I don't work frontline for lots of reasons! I have asthma, controlled at the mo but I do need inhalers and sometimes steroid tablets too! It has been good recently because I haven't been stressed! My kids are terrified. I am all they have. No dad or step dad now as both passed. I can't afford 22 weeks without pay!!! Really don't know what to do!!! 

Just not what I need at the moment.

Love to you all xxx

Hi Alison  

you are very stressed. Do you have the weekend off to chill  The inquest is taking a long time   25 of may  . the people they are sending to your hospital will you have to look after them  or be near them   So you can still go to work with out making your self Ill  and  yours kids won’t worry so much about their mum loosing both your partners I can’t imagine how that feels  just try and stay calm I’ve found it hard enough myself  just loosing my wife 

take care we all care 

martin x