I’ve lost the brightest person to enter my life

Hi Aneesha,  I'm so sorry that your love was taken from you.  This world, this thing called cancer, it's so unfair.  You're both too young.  It makes no sense for any of us to be here on this rotten path.  I can understand why you're angry.

My Nick was 49 and I'm 50.  I know he didn't want to leave me.  He was fighting right till the end.  I'm positive your love didn't want to leave you either.  Sometimes it wins, this cancer.  And it takes the good ones, its indiscriminate and that makes me angry too.  

I think you have a wonderful attitude to try not to dwell on it.  Sending love and strength

Hello Aneesha, I'm so very sorry that your World has fallen apart at such a young age . Sorry feels so inadequate..I wish there was another way to express how sad I am for you. This thing called "Life" can be so cruel. more so to some than others.   3 months really is very early on. You will still be in shock which protects us in the first few months .Functional it seems , but really existing on Autopilot I think. Certainly it was with me . And I've seen with others who to the outsiders seem to be coping well. Not falling apart and crying in Public. Something we really don't want to do. I have taken Valerium to get me through this. They keep me calm and help me get through the day. It is so cruel that your future as you saw it and planned has been taken from you both. We do feel angry at them for leaving us not through their choice.  I really hope you have the support of family and friends and they try to understand just how much you need their understanding. Don't try to hide just how bad it gets . You sound like you have the right attitude , but I have a feeling you are still in shock and it will hit you soon. You may be surprised at the overwhelming and varied emotions alongside of deep sadness that you will experience . You can only take one day at a time . Do what feels right for you . Take care Cx 

Thanks for your reply, it means a lot! Cancer is truly a horrific thing, not just for the person with it but also for their loved ones who have to watch it all happen. So sorry for Nick, it’s so difficult to lose a spouse in this way, it’s hard to describe. Take care xx

Hi, thanks for your reply. You’re right, I am in a massive amount of shock and definitely running on autopilot. I think your body has a way of remembering to still carry on, even if your mind doesn’t want to. 

We all have a way of putting on a brave face when it comes to being out in public, for me I think it’s easier to do that sometimes than express what I’m truly feeling. 

Thank you for your words xx

Hello Aneesha!

I am so sorry to read about your loss and my condolences to you especially at such a young age. Age is just a number as they say and if you were meant to be together then that is all that mattered. I am 3 years into this horrible journey next week (23rd June) when my husband passed with bowel cancer. He was slightly older than I was too a 9 year age difference (he was older) he passed just 7 months short of his 70th birthday I'm 64 this year I was 61 when he passed.  At this time things will be very raw for you and everything you feel will be normal. Your head will be all over the place and you will be experiencing so many emotions anger, sadness, denial and shock to name just a few. I get that too all your plans have more or less went to the wall. We had so much we wanted to still do too but cancer robbed us of it all it is an absolute beast of a disease and doesn't care who you are or what you are or where you come from if it wants you, it will take you. Just keep coming here my dear when you feel you need to we have all been there and some of us still are so we can all relate to what you are going through and will `get it` if you feel those around you don't. Take care of yourself and best wishes to you. 

Vicky.

Hi Aneesga

I just wanted to say hello, im sorry to read about your love. My husband died in October and he was 14 years older than me. But we always thought it would be me that went first, he was so healthy, until he wasnt.

3 months is no time, just take one day at a time, but also allow yourself to grieve. I wonder if you have come acrosd a site called WAY ( widowed and young) , some of us are on the sister site called WAy Up which is for people a bit older. You dont have to be married.

Come here to chat any time, we are a nice bunch. 

Hi Vicky, that was really sweet. Really sorry to hear about your husband, it is soooo hard to be without your spouse. Being on here definitely helps, it’s a relief to know I’m not alone. Xx

Hey, ahh like another said ‘age is just a number’. Can I ask why you both thought you would go first? 

I’ll definitely check that website out, it’s a relief to know I’m not alone in this journey. Xx