Slowly over the past 4 months Ive been tidying up / clearing the house following on from my beloved Anne's passing. I've had to do this in very small steps because its so distressing. But theres one room that forbids me from touching - my soul mates bedroom where I now sleep in her bed. We used seperate bedrooms because of Anne's night time and daily medical requirements, one involving Lupus. Her bedroom is exactly as it was when she was hospitalised, even the bags on the floor brought home from the hospital after she passed. Her clothes still remain in her wardrobe as do her private things in Anne's dressing table draws. And they will always remain there because as long as they are in the house a part of my soul mate is still with me. It's our house, not mine. But yesterday I had to clear the top of her bedside cabinet to make room for her ashes as it dawned on me it was rather disrespectful to leave them on the floor. Removing those few things totally broke my heart. It was all too intrusive. For those of you who know Charles Dickens character Miss Havisham Anne's bedroom as far as I can see will remain as it is till I pass, as did Miss Havishams wedding reception room. My darlings bedroom somehow contains the very living heart of this now soulless house. The only room that has a form of life force, a spirit, a place of sanctuary. I rest so well in Anne's bed and have rarely been denied a good night's sleep. So basically, tiding up / clearing the house is now complete. Now what ? ? ?
Love and Light
Geoff.
