My partner, Stuart, died two weeks ago. Even though it’s so recent I’m concerned that he’s slipping from my mind. I seem to be operating normally as if he hasn’t gone. I wonder if I’m sane. Help!
Hey you are completely normal. I remember feeling like I would forget Nick because I was in such a daze and the fog was just descending on top of me. Then I thought everyone else would forget him too and was determined his name should be on things like Christmas cards, he died 4 weeks before Christmas.
You won't forget him. He's woven into your system. 2 weeks is so raw still. I'd say it gets better but I keep thinking I'm going backwards. I still feel so low and this sick feeling won't go away.
Take one bit at a time, a bit can be 10 minutes. If all you can do is cry then fine. Then try the next bit.
Hi Galloway, you are sane. Your mind is unable to process everything at the moment. It is trying to protect you from the trauma. It is like a filter, and will only let the new reality in, gradually. I went through this stage, and did wonder also, if I was sane. I found the Cruse Bereavement website really helpful, as it explains in depth all of the psychological aspects of grief. Sending hugs, Kate.
No you are perfectly sane. As nicangel says two weeks is no time at all. What you maybe feeling is the surreality and disbelief of it all and don't quite believe yet that he is gone and so just going about your normal day or trying to. You will probably still be expecting him to come walking through the door or hear him calling you. This is all normal at the beginning. This is how I felt I used to wake up in the morning and still expecting him lying beside me but then the hours he worked sometimes he went out with the larks and came home with the cats so it was nothing unusual to find myself in bed alone I would maybe get up and he would be sleeping in a chair so as not to wake me up coming in. Everyone grieves differently as you know and has a different timescale just do just now what is best for you and if going about your everyday normal is how you feel then just do it. You will never forget Stuart as nic says too he is woven into to you and will be with you always that's how I get by knowing and hoping that Jay is somewhere guiding me through each day. Just take your time for now still early for you and as time goes on you may begin to feel a shift somewhere that you are moving forwards. Take Care.
You may feel you are carrying on as usual, but others might see that you are perhaps in a daze . Going through the motions which was how I felt. All my family came to the House and I felt I was just looking on. I couldn't have a conversation with them. I would answer / respond when they spoke to me . The shock to our system when we are recently bereaved . Our body and mind is trying to protect us . And as has been said ... everything feels surreal. It is a lot to accept that we have just lost our special person. Even after 15 months since my great loss I feel bereft . Finding it difficult to accept this is it , the rest of my life without him looks bleak. I'm just trying to keep myself busy to help me cope. My Hubby is in my thoughts constantly in everything I do and it can be exhausting. We will never forget the, so don't worry about that. As for thinking you are Insane ..well the painful grief and overwhelming emotions do make you wonder. Some days I feel like screaming . If you go on the bereavement sites you will read that other widows are going through much the same or similar. Listen to the Podcasts by Karen Sutton or find others you may be able to relate to. They can be very helpful. Get your name down for counselling as that helps too. I hope you have some good support. Cx
I agree with this. My mind did the same thing and slowly allowed me to process it. It’s is normal. Try not to panic the answers do start to come and so do the memories. It all hurts but you’ll get better at dealing with it. I’m 8 months in and sometimes it feels like yesterday my wife died. But I have good periods of time now where I am feeling ok with it and getting on with life in a new context.
