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FormerMember over 5 years ago

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Hi there,

I joined this group a few months ago but haven't been able to write anything. I lost my partner, Chris, to Ewing sarcoma in March this year. He was only 31. Four months on I'm having more good days than before but sometimes I just feel like this is too much to bear. He was the most wonderful person and my best friend, and even though I have so much incredible support from my friends and family I just feel so alone without him. I'm so, so fed up of people telling me that he's always with me, or he would want me to be happy, or that I'm still young and have my whole life ahead of me. I just want to hear that yes, this is so unfair and awful and should not have happened and I'm right to want to just scream and cry.

I don't know what I expect to get out of this but I'm feeling very alone today.

K x

FormerMember over 5 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hi Fiona,

Oh, that is so quick. I'm so sorry. You must still be shellshocked. Chris had been diagnosed ten months before he died but had been doing really well before he had a sudden relapse. We had 34 days between the news that his treatment had stopped working and his death. As you say there was no time to process. Almost 5 months on I still can't wrap my head around the fact that this happened. It makes no sense.

It is important to have a place to talk. Thank you x

FormerMember over 5 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Not sure if it helps but Cruse (in phone book), Maggie's Centres & Local Hospice may be able to help with counselling

FormerMember over 5 years ago in reply to FormerMember

Hi Robbo,

Thank you for your message. Knowing he loved me until the end is something that helps and hurts in equal measure. It hurts knowing how much I've lost but it's a comfort at the same time.

K x

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