3 Years

Thinking of you Patty.  I hope you're coping ok.  

You are making Jay so proud to have come through this far and beyond.   I'm convinced they are looking over us wherever they are.  

Keep cool in the heat.  Sending love

Big hugs to you Patty, do you ever write down those things that make you see how far youve come? Im starting to try that,  not that I feel Im making any progress so far but i hope I will eventually. 

I wonder if we all feel we should be further on? For me, its 8 months, and Im learning, slowly that just maybe im expecting too much of myself. I function ( not well in this heat) i get by, i go to work. 

Anyway, did you plan to spend the day alone, was that what you wanted? 

I hope its been a bearable day for you and Jays helping hands have been surrounding you. 

X

Thanks Nic and Malengwa. 

I've survived through the day ok. My sister came by for a little while had looked to have her stay but finally decided against it. Workers from her housing association are coming into her flat this week anyway to do a few repairs so she needs to be there for that. She usually asks for me to be there with her when people come to her house but she is getting a bit better with that and says she can manage it all on her own. She usually reminds me of anniversaries and things like that but she didn't even acknowledge it today but I think her memory is beginning to fade a little bit or its just `selective` when I mentioned it to her she said to me `what do you mean`? when I asked her what day it was but she seemed more concerned that she is not getting any post and thinks she no longer exists and what people are doing in her complex. I have to keep reminding myself she's 75 years old this year though. 

xx

Hi PattyK, 

 I'm glad you got through yesterday ok. Well as well as you can. Remember their is no time limit on grief.  Do not be hard on yourself. I hope you are looking after yourself.  We will always remember them.

Take care. 

Sometimes, the incoming grief is still overwhelming. As you say, there is no time limit. 

Insanity Kate,  that's because we still love them. Bad waves can hit us at anytime, anywhere.  This path is all over the place.

Take care

I've had a bad day, came out of nowhere. I took my dog for an early swim and some guy told me dogs aren't allowed on the beach. I told him he was wrong (which he was) then burst into tears, and I've been crying on and off all day. These little things drag you so far down; maybe it's the weather too? I struggle to go out at all most days, now I'll be panicking someone else will moan at me. 

I love him so much, and always will. Not being able to express that love through caring for him, time spent together, cooking, holidays, our family, dog walking, socialising, his humour and quiet confidence are still devastating. I have accepted this, and in a strange way it gives me comfort.

It's strange sometimes when I look at a picture, I feel like I can still feel her love in my broken heart. The next it might be tears.

Spirit,  I am afraid it's part of the journey, we lose are confident, and the slightest thing can seem so big. I hope you have a better day today.

I agree. It is a tangible feeling, and feels like a response. That is why I believe in the spiritual world. We can’t understand everything, but we can feel.