Struggling

So sorry for your loss Mike. I'm just over 2 months down the road now but we knew for 2.5 years that John wouldn't make it, very sudden and brutal for you. Although having longer to 'prepare' for losing your life partner doesn't make it any easier really, you never can be prepared. We were married nearly 38 years, we always held hands and at night he'd put his arm around me and I'd have my head on his shoulder, until he got so ill in the last few weeks and we had to sleep in separate beds. Like your Winnie, John told me to be happy without him. I want to be, for his sake, but it's much too soon. I hope you find some comfort from the people here Mike. 

Love Anne x

Dear Anne I am so sorry for your loss. Your John sounds a lot like my Winnie .it is a long time to be with someone and suddenly you are on your own. My hart goes out to you. It can’t be easy telling your loved one to be happy when they know they are not going to see them again. So for both John and Winnie’s sake we will have to try. But you are probably like me at the moment and don’t think you will ever be happy again. Time will tell,talking to people like you does bring a small bit of comfort   

I have a picture of her in the living room and give her a kiss everyday and say good night when going to bed. 

And this might sound silly but I have some of her hair on the windowsill so a little bit of her is still here. 

Love Mike x

Ramble on.

The more others ramble the more it gives us, others, help to ramble.

When your lost in the darkest parts of the forest its all that is left to do xx

Sorry for coming in late on this post guys 

I just wanted to give you all a massive viral hug this site is such a blessing to us all. X

My wife was diagnosed  just 6 weeks before she died she was in so much pain I asked that they let her go the most painfull. Thing I have ever done I held her hand and whispered to her till she passed like you I cried for days a month on and the pain is still with me but like you I hope it will ease for both of us soon 

Thanks Mike. I have photos of John in the living room  which were there while he was still with us, with friends, and family members. Also have a photo of him on my bedside table. He was always smiling, never let anything get him down. Until the last few weeks, when he just wanted it to be over. But even then he worried about me. Do you have family support Mike? 

Anne x

Hi Anne I also have a photo on my bedside locker it is nice to wake up and see her smiling at me. Yes I have 3 sons and they were a great support over the funeral but as I live in Southern Ireland they have to go back to the uk for there work. .winnie is from Ireland but I am English,we lived in England for 25 years and only moved back to Ireland a couple of years ago. The good thing about Ireland ( if you can call it good) is that the funeral is very quick here .Winnie passed away on Monday and the cremation was Thursday and I hope to have the ashes bye Monday.Tell me to mind my own business if you want to but did you say you collected John’s ashes and put them in the spare bedroom, why not take them out and put them in your room or in the living room so when you are alone you can talk to him.

Ihope this writing is as comforting to you as it is for me. Do you have family around you. I never in my life new pain could be like this. 

Mike X

I can relate to your mental torture I am going through the same seems no end to it but it helps that others know how it feels I hope it gets better for you or eases up in time

I am sorry for your loss , yes that pain is unbearable..I just go round in a daze all the time .i still expect my Winnie to walk through the door; i hope the  pain gets better for you also 

mike

Thank you I can only wish it would at the moment it comes in waves can't stop it everyone tells me it will get easier but it seems like hell I'm sure you feel the same way vsorry for the rant