Overwhelming sense of loss .

Hi Jane glad you had an ok day at work. I haven’t driven my car yet as I dread looking at the empty seat next to me and yes one of the worst things is thinking about going hoe to an empty house The pain is so crippling you think it would do some damage to us . I am like you I am sure my wife is around me I talk to her all the time and usually end up crying.The bit about cancer is true ,tv,papers everywhere you look it’s there and it just brings back bad memories. I hope you have some sort of good weekend aswell.

Mike x

You to Mike night 

Hi Jane 

You took the word's, right out of my mouth duck . Apart from the good day at work. It's uncanny how we all Feel /See /Hear the same things. We've got to get on with life, ain't were we are yet. It really winds me up, patience and understanding is what we need at this time.

As for the weekend duck, I see it as two empty days to fill somehow. Never thought I'd be saying that. 

Take care duck. 

Hi Mike, 

You're feeling exactly as I am Mike. I totally understand you not wanting to get in your car yet and how you are feeling about everything else. It pains me, every time I get in my car. I glance across, automatically. Don't think I will ever get used to that. I will see my two lovely little step grandsons on Sunday afternoon, but the weekend will still be empty as the pain is always on your mind even in the company of loved ones.

I feel your pain. 

Hi Mike just got in my car to go to home base walked round got in car and burst into tears when will it ever ease up I'm so tired hope you do better than me  will try another day

No mate I am afraid iam not went to trim the hedge . Winnie always liked it level. It got as far as she’d and I burst into tears . Eventually got hedge done bur I kept thinking what is the point. Hope weekend gets better for both of us. Stat strong. 

Mike 

Sorry mate I can’t even write properly now   It should read. I got as far the shed. My head is in a fuzz. 

Mike 

Mike I know how you feel I get so helpless some days it helps me that I can take dogs for a walk but then cry after bringing back memories of us 2walking the dogs   can't win at moment

I’ve just finished reading all the posts in this thread and i just kept saying “yes” out loud the whole way through it and nodding my head. The total emptiness and loneliness is paralysing. I’ve always thought I was good in my own company, I like reading and telly and social media but always in the back of your mind is that safe, content feeling that you are part of a couple, a union, that there is someone who is interested in your day, your opinion, your well-being. You never consider yourself “alone” while they are alive even if they are not there beside you. The feeling after they have died is so very very different. I am actually bereft. I can’t watch telly, I can’t concentrate and it’s just noise but nor can I bear the silence. The house feels like an empty shell, all personality and warmth is gone. Everything is completely pointless and meaningless. I couldn’t care less about anything. My big beautiful man has only been gone 38 days and my life is literally in ruins. I have no idea how to pick up the pieces. It doesn’t fix anything to know people on here feel the same but it does help, if that makes sense. I feel for all us, this pain is shocking and awful.

Hi Orlybird 

My sympathies on your loss duck. I'm feeling everything you are feeling to a word. You are making total sense. We are stumbling in the dark hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel. Getting through today and then tomorrow is my only goal. Work means nothing to me, apart from getting me out of the empty lonely house. I'm exhausted but haven't booked any vacation from work because I'd feel worse sat at home.

Take care the best way you can for now seems more realistic than saying take care, I now feel.