My wife of 17 years lost her battle to cancer on Wednesday 1/5. I feel numb, alone and angry that my soulmate has been taken it’s like all of a sudden I am going through 7/8 stages of grief all at once
Oh it’s so hard we had so many plans for the future my husband family are farmers, we were going to take over the farm and all those plans we made have gone now, are children are grown and have children of their own we were going to go on holiday every big birthday just for a few days the first was going to be my 50th but he passed away 14 days before my birthday, I don’t get angry anymore I just have days we’re I can do lots and have no tears but then I wake up and just can’t stop crying so have to walk the dogs lots as I don’t let anyone see me like that, I only let them see my smiling, me I just wish they would come up with at least one cure so that not so many people have to keep going through what we are all going through, I lost my mum in 2015 to cancer and then my wonderful husband a year ago it’s just so unreal love and hugs Miranda x
I am so sorry to hear he passed just before 2 weeks before your special birthday
maria saw her 60th in February my Birthday is not til September however we were going to renew vows in our anniversary this year on 14/7 ..
i personally have not had children but I took Maria’s children and grandchildren as my own they are coming to stay with me at the weekend I am strong for them as they need me to be but I know that our daughter is seriously concerned about me so we will end up having a long chat and getting emotional but I’m ok with that
I only ever let Maria see me cry but I am close with her kids and they see me as step mum and grandkids call me NaN which really melts my heart
it’s just so hard as the one left behind - I’m findinginv I have to juggle dealing with my own grief but being strong for them x
I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s astounding how deep the pain is when we lose our life partner.
I lost my husband In October after 11 years of caring for him (he had Multiple Myeloma). Ironically, a few months before his passing I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma (I’m in remission now) and I think the stress of my own illness added to his stress and may have caused his heart attack.
You are stronger than you think. You can deal with this. Maybe not by saying, “I’m going to deal with this!” But perhaps just by living each day until enough time passes that the huge wound begins to heal. I’m only a few months ahead of you on the grieving path, and I had 11 years to prepare for Gerry’s passing (when he was diagnosed in 2007 we were told he had one year, it seems the last 11 years were always, “touch and go” as we moved forward with our lives.)
It’s not going to be fun, living with this pain, but I think that eventually the memories will be sweeter than they are painful. You can do this.
i am glad to hear you’re in remission! You must not think that your stress adding to his although I can understand why you would think that as I would be the same
the pain is so deep. I think of the good times but when I am in my dark place all I can hear are her screams and pleading with me to help her
i miss her so much I talk to her when I’m in the house or driving there are some of our songs I can listen too and others I completely break down to
all my memories on Facebook are of me and her and they keep popping up everyday
I’m just heartbroken
that said I am trying to focus on work and I try not to distance myself from my friends as I know I’ll go back into a dark place again. But they just don’t understand or can’t emphasise
