My turn?

Hello Darkhorse123,

This just seems so unfair on you. Not really sure what to say but just wanted send you a virtual hug and lots of love.

Hope messages of support here give you the strength to deal with your heartbreak and give you some clarity on how to proceed from here onwards. Sorry no words of wisdom from me - just thinking of you at this incredibly hard time Xx

Dear Darkhorse123.

I am so so sorry for your loss and for your own diagnosis and the battles you are facing. I hope that the exchange with others here on this forum will give you support and strength in what lies ahead.

Love, Mel.

Oh Darkhorse 

How horrendous  dealing with all your grief then somehow coming to terms with your own diagnosis. I think all I can say is get as much information and support as possible.  Then listen to your heart and your feelings. Ultimately  this bit is now about you.

Keep in touch and sending best wishes xxx

Update: Stage 2 breast cancer.  Hubby was so mistreated in local hozi we felt compelled to sue them to stop others suffering.  They missed his initial apt for 6 months, incompetent GP incorrectly recorded first apt details, but it gave hozi perfect loophole.  He was badly mistreated in many ways. some specialists were ace, others abysmal. Ward and A&E was diabolical. So despite admitting liability the compo was £3k which came days after John died.Unable to face sitting in the same hozi seat John had weeks earlier & being ignored as I wept in waiting area, I switched hospitals to a nearby town. What a joke. I told them how we'd been mistreated, hoodwinked and lied to so they wouldn't do the same. It is almost as bad as other hozi. Cos I 'm so scared of suffering, I told them NO lumpectomy, I want it ALL gone which they initially agreed to. Instead they just avoided using the term LUMPECTOMY and cos I believed that was off the table, didn't really understand what they were telling me the surgery. I worked it out myself....it WAS a lumpectomy! they said I agreed to it. Double betrayal. Any chance of trust once again is gone. I have a lot of other health complaints but was working until John died in a fast paced job, propping myself up on painkillers.  Cancer treatment floored me and now my baby grandson is critical and unlikely to make it. Tomorrow I have a PIP assessment at home, but no one to support me as CAB didn't action my email or phone call messages even though they confirmed receipt. Next Wed I have a work's Occupational Health phone meeting for 90 mins. I have severe hearing impairment and got a stammer after John died. I applied for ill health retirement, but no  chance of getting it. Only 4 yr from state retirement they will think I'm trying it on. When I rang the Mac nurse at the hozi I got really distressed but she didn't seem to understand how my grief alone is affecting me and was talking of a GP home visit & duty of care....antidepressants is all he can do which I WILL not have. Tried them and make it ten times worse. I had to threaten to stop treatment and not let a GP in. I worry now about being sectioned.... there is no one who really relates to my situation cos its so horrific. There are people who can to parts of it but its a cauldron of cr&p that is all interlinked. Pay goes to zero on 3 July too, SSP1 form never came so no benefits can be applied for. Just sick of it all but no choice but to take pounding after pounding. there's more but I think this is quite enough to hit the forum with....

Sorry chaps, last post sounds like a pity me party......not intentional, but still reeling from fathers day and my first birthday yesterday without my soul mate in my life since I was 15 in 1972 and I am now 62.  Thanks in advance for putting up with me.

Don’t apologise, there is no need, everyone here understands to some extent what you are going through.  It sounds like you have been and are going through the wringer.  My thought for what it’s worth is to sort out your finances first.  Get another form, or get a friend to get it for you.  I do hope you have friends and family around you.  Use them.  You are obviously still grieving for your husband.  This is a bit of a rollercoaster on its own and the best advice I can give is take it one day, one hour or one minute at a time and try to take good care of yourself, eating resting and sleeping as much as you can.  As to your own health problems, is there someone close to you, friend or family who would come with you to appointments to fight your corner.  Your mind must be in turmoil after all you have been and are going through.  You need the support of someone close to you as I don’t think anyone in your circumstances could possibly think clearly.  Take care of yourself and please keep posting if it helps and let us know how you are doing even if it is a “pity party”.  Love Dolly xx

Sorry I didn’t pick up on the bit about your baby grandson. That must be devastating.  I hope he makes it.  I will pray for him and you.  Dolly xx

Darkhorse, I have no words. What you and your family must be going through. Praying for you all.