My first Birthday coming up without my dad, feeling very low

Hello Julie, 

all the anniversaries are tough the first time round, I began to block out the dates my Dad went, and also even his birthday, to be honest, I think it was the only way my mind would cope. Yes, I was a Dad's girl too. 

Will be thinking of you, try to work your best and give your kids an extra big hug to make up for it....carry on with the counselling though!

hugs for you from another Dad's girl xxx

Hi Moomy 

Thank you,  it's so hard trying to carry on without him, miss him so much it hurts to breathe :'( My dad died from oesophagus cancer, sometimes I get something stuck in my throat n I panick hun,  so sorry for your loss too, I hope I've not set you back with my post? 

Cancer freaks me out, never been so angry at a disease before but I am with this n the doctor who misdiagnosed my dad should be struck off....

take care 

Julie xx 

Hello. Sending you hugs. 

I struggled with my first birthday without my mum. I didn't wana celebrate. I just wanted to forget it was my birthday coz there was nothing to  celebrate. What made it worse for me is 4 days before I gave birth to my son who my mum would never meet and 2 days after my birthday is her birthday. 

I think every year now is gona be hard coz it shows that you've lived another year of your life without them. Hopefully it gets easier. 

I hope you will be ok and remember your dad wouldn't want you to be sad on your birthday just like mum wouldn't want me to. 

Xxx

Hello, I just had to reply to your post as my birthday was a huge date for me on the first year after my dads death.

Im an only child, and me and my dad shared a birthdate. 2nd of July, that was OUR day. He would ring me first thing and we would say happy birthday to each other, like other people say merry christmas on the 25th dec, we could say happy birthday to each other in july!

I was dreading my first birthday without my dad, it was the first one last july, quickly heading for the second now. I requested that my birthday wouldnt be acknowledged by anyone-no cards, no gifts ect.  However, most family thought i was being stupid,that I didnt know what i wanted,That you couldnt really blank out a birthday ect and insisted on giving me a card anyway. Which annoyed me greatly.

Anyhoo, Just wanted to say , i know the dread you will be facing, I understand the pain you will feel on tuesday when your phone doesnt ring. Do what you feel you want to do, if you want to have a normal day, do it! go to work, it is just another day! But it is the day when you made your dad become a dad, so maybe go visit his grave or a special place, Its natural to dread every small anniversary that bring back memories of our lost loved ones, and more so how they bring back the realization that our lives have changed, that time moves on without them.

Nothing you choose to do to cope with grief can ever be classed as "wrong" There is no check list, no book written, no guide to be followed of grief. You get through it the best way you can, with baby steps and a few setbacks along the way.

xxx

Thank you katie, it's tough without my dad, so sorry about your mum, I never thought I'd be saying I want my dad back this time last year or I'd have my last ever birthday with him.

I'm hoping my work mates haven't got me cards ect because I am going to break down n I know they understand  what am going through. Hugs back n hope your ok? 

take care  Julie xx 

Hi Spootle 

I can't imagine having my birthday same day as my dad, that has to be really hard hun, i never thought I'd send my last birthday with my dad this time last year.

I will definitely be going to the Cemetery to talk to him, I'd love to have him back for a cuddle miss him so much it hurts everywhere in my thoughts, body my doctor told me it's my body way of coping.

I hope your ok? Sorry for your loss, thank you for your post too 

take care, big hugs Julie xxx

Julie,

My birthday is tomorrow and it is my first without my papi. He passed of a sudden heart attack.

Just like you, he was always the first person to call me as if I were the only little girl in the world. He always made me feel very special with flowers and lots of love.

This is going to be more than tough without him, I'll probably speak to my counselor tomorrow. 

Ugh, this road is so long and I wish that I was at ease like everyone else seems to be. "The pain lessens"...they say,

Yea right.

I guess our love was just stronger than everyone else's.

If you have any words of wisdom I'd love some help.

Xo

Sorry for your loss. My 'big 4 0' was 6 months after my Dad passed and he was on my mind all day (like you, I was daddy's little girl, even at 39!!). I got through it by doing something fun (white water rafting) and thinking of him smiling down on me - he'd have been crushed if he thought he'd be 'responsible' for ruining my day. It's hard, I know, but I'm sure your Papi would want you to get through the day as best you can. Xxxx

The firsts are so hard Julie, I'm also struggling my dad passed away 25th Oct 2018 I didn't get back on time to say goodbye, I punish myself daily for this, I'm now on anti depressant and slowly geting there, it's my dad's 71st birthday tomorrow all week I've been getting anxious and stressed, I miss him more and more every single day, please don't feel alone because your not, lots of love Angie xx