Struggling...

Hi Dippyhippy

Im sorry to read about everything you have been and are going through. Im glad you found your way here where you can share in a safe space alongside people who understand.

Coping alone is so hard. For me, I lost my husband in October and I still sob every day. Im trying to do what people say ie go out, meet new people, but Im finding that quite distressing, Im quite shy and reserved so meeting new people takes so much energy. Do you have any friends nearby that you can talk to or just be with? Do you do your art alone or are you able to join a group where others share your interest? I find groups hard if they are too big, but thats just me.

It is heartbreaking to lose the people you love, all we can do is put one foot in front of the other and take baby steps. I am very much learning to do this.

Big hug coming your way.

Thank you so much, your words are lovely.  I'm much the same, I have generally been reclusive...I chose a life so I could be with my dog all the time.  One foot in front of another, bless your heart.  Hug back for you 

I am sorry DippyHippy to hear of your loss of your fiancé who lost his life in such tragic circumstances, your loss of your beloved dog and your own health struggles.  Finding some peace through art sounds like a healthy way to manage.  I still work full-time and the structure of each day helps me cope with the loss of my lovely partner of 27 years 2 years ago and I also do some adult education classes where we make things and I meet others without the pressure of having to talk to people at all if I don't want to.  I used to be outgoing but I have turned into a hermit since my partner died.  I never imagined that spending time with others would feel exhausting but it does.  I make myself go to my classes because it is good for me.  I make lovely things and other people in the class do too but getting myself out of the house is an effort.  I have had to learn to live with a different version of myself and it is unsettling as I don't know if it is permanent or will pass.  I gratefully accept any help or contact that comes my way but I don't have much energy to initiate it.  I hope you can find something to help your heart feel a little less broken.  I would encourage you to look at your local adult education classes.  They are not usually expensive and it is an opportunity to dabble in things we already know or learn new things in a supportive environment.  Warmest thoughts, Christine  

These past few weeks I have visited Memorial Woodland where my dog and fiancée are at rest, it's a beautiful natural reserve with trees, wild flowers and animals...I find it peaceful and I feel close and connected. I live in the centre of a town which is noisy and bustling with traffic and lots of people.  I am going to take a picnic when the weather is better, picnics were our favourite. I do enjoy arts and crafts, so thank you, I will take a look at classes.  All you say is so familiar, it's like having your anchor detached and you are simply drifting...my heart and soul are so broken I cannot even think about the treatment ahead, I am due to have an operation for the cancer March.  Your words are so right...love and warmth.

The woodland sounds a lovely place for your fiancé and your dog to be resting and for you to visit.  I can't draw, but if I could I would draw the lovely flowers and trees at different times of the year so I can have them around me at home.  My partner was not a good cook despite my positive encouragement over the decades, so a few days each week I make nice things and think of how much he would have enjoyed them.  It gives me some comfort as it feels a little like I am cooking for both of us even though he is no longer with me.  He was a creative person and liked wearing different shades and types of fabric so I have asked a local textile embroidery artist if she can make a couple of collages from the fabric from some of his clothes and I'll get them framed so I can see them every day.  These things are my way of helping myself not feel so broken and keeping him close often - and he would stay close if he could.  I hope you can find things each day to soothe you and I hope you manage your forthcoming treatment okay.   

Me too, you actually have said everything ...love...life...everything...what these people mean to us.  I send you heart warmth and love.