Is it possible to have PTSD from watching a loved one die from cancer?

Im so sorry you've had to face this, not once, but twice. I firmly believe that you can have PTSD from witnessing the demise and loss of a loved one to this awful disease. I can't actually think of anything worse.

My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer mid Dec last year and passed away on 31st Jan. What he went through, his fear, struggle to breathe and pain, will stick with me always. I can still see the fear in his eyes and it's the thing I struggle with most. I knew of Cancer before, but had no idea how awful it could really be.

Like you, I'm frightened about losing more people and it happening to me and me leaving my son. 

Have you spoken to anyone for support? Either friends or professionals? I am very aware that what has happened doesn't feel completely real to me yet, which I know isn't good, and I'm kind of waiting for the depression and anxiety to creep in.

Sorry, not an overly positive response but just wanted to relate and say your aren't alone and hopefully with more time and support, you are able to focus on the good memories rather than the painful xx

Hi Sara. I'm so sorry for your loss. You're so young to have gone through all this emotional trauma. I'm in my 40's now. But i lost my lovely dad to a massive heart attack. (I was 17. He was 52). Plus i lost my lovely brave, strong mum to cancer  last October. Losing a parent is awful, but expected. The pain is so intense, like a permanent ache. When my sweet mother died, she wanted to go. She'd had enough of pain & suffering. But she & i were very close. So i was devastated when it happened. Must be so hard for you, as you're dad wasn't ready to go. You can't help that. YOU MUST REMEMBER YOU DID EVERYTHING YOU COULD FOR HIM. You shouldn't have any regrets. This evil disease cancer, was out of your hands. Just you being with him would have given him some form of comfort. Even if he didn't show it. You can't go over it over & over. Or you'll have a break down. 

I've just started bereavement group counselling. We meet once a week, 2hrs for 5 months. Quite intensive. I think that could help you? A group can support eachother, they know roughly how you're feeling. One to one counselling might be too intense for you. Hearing other people, gives you more perspective on your situation. Most councils offer some form of help. Good luck with everything & of course. Coming on this forum can give some form of therapy. You're so young. Don't waste your life on what if's. Try to look forward. Your dad would want you to. Hope your pain & guilt eases. Stay in touch with people on here. X

Hello, I hope you are still coming to this site as it really can help, although my cancer has not got me yet I will never forget the impact it had on my daughter, I had been operated on she came to see me as usual but I said thank god you came I can't reach my phone, in any other circumstance it would have been an everyday thing to say but she thought she had let me down for not being there when I needed her and broke down, I can say now that was the worst moment of the whole ordeal, being told you have cancer and everything that goes with it didn't compare to how guilty I felt

Your dad I'm sure would feel the same, any parent wants to protect their children from anything I would be heartbroken to think my daughter was going through your pain, I do believe you are going through some form of post traumatic stress and would suggest you talk about it.  I do hope you still visit this site and wish you the very best

Love Ann

Hi Emilie,  I'm very sorry for your loss and you must miss him terribly, I feel your pain.  Thank you for your message, it was comforting to know I'm not alone. 

I work overseas, I'm testing  out therapists but haven't found any suitable yet.

I won't say stay strong, I'll just say when you're ready take a look at photos of good times and that can help erase some of the bad.

Take Care xxx

Give yourself time.  My mama died three years ago from cancer.  It was a nightmare for me, and you are describing perfectly the effects it had on me. The last month I couldn't bear to leave her for a minute.  I would miss her so much when she was gone.  Exhaustion, sadness and fear were with me all the time. The first year after I would wake up in that nightmare.  Couldn't get to the 60 years of love and memories. But will tell you that it gets easier. Those good memories will come back.  Now I will need to go cry a little.

Hello I'm a 26 yrs old and my grandfather died from cancer when I was 25 last year for the longest time we didn't know he had cancer it started when he. Was. Complaining about his back hurting he went to the chopraticter and nothing nothing was. Helping he couldn't sleep in his bed he was to uncomfortable the only spot that was comfortable to sleep was his recliner chair we all guessed it had to be cancer but wasn't sure he beat cancer twice so he want to the Dr's they sent him for some test sure enough he had cancer we did the chemo treatment it was giving him some relief but not enough Xmas came around then new years eve came and he was in alot of pain took him to the Dr's and he had olser bolging from his side so we had to stop the chemo and after that he got very very sick rush him to the hospital and they said he had pneumonia he was back in the hospital he was in and out a lot for treatments and stuff then we had a care nurse come but wasn't much freaking help and it would be to much for my grandmother to care for him so she had my dad and my my uncle and my aunt over and they all decided we should put him a hospitality in st Catherine's were he would have 24hr care from there on he was geting worse and worse he had all the family come to say how much he loves us and how we r grate grandchildren and to never stop what we do and to be us I remember stress major I knew he was saying g his goodbye he knew he was dieing and he then slip into a coma or a death something and he had a lot of rattling in his lungs witch it called the death rattal we has on heavy pain meds and all I remember was going in the hall away from my family and crying my grandmother said he dosnt have much time he's dieing I remember some what going and hiding and calling my boyfriend really upset he knew what was going on because I told him everything and going to a room and kept crying and crying them went back to his room we all gathered around watching a hockey game I thought I saw him move trying to get my cousins attention I told my cousin and he looked and my grandfather didn't move at that time I thought I was going crazy after 15 to 20 minutes one of my cousins said Grammy witch is what we call her and we call my grandfather pappy she said look he's moving he was trying to say something but was too weak to speak and mouthed I love you guys and then I watched him take his last breath then he came back and was gasping for air he did that about 2 times took his final breath and died I was sooooo upset and numb and hurt and angry we went home and the next day came back when the morg came and took his body and was a very depressing and stressful day and night for days I was huring myself to why cancer had to do this to him and wish it happened to someone else that wasn't family related I felt so helpless that I couldn't take his pain away I was numb and angry all the time it's now been almost a year since he passed and still feel hurt and upset Im not sure if I have developed PTSD or not because I watch my grandfather die I never seen anyone die like that. And I'm sorry if some parts don't make senses I tryed my best but I'm just so numb and can't think or sleep or anything. If someone can tell me if I do have PTSD or not I would be happy and Ps I was in a car accident before my grandfather died and I had about 7 or 8 deaths in my family 

He died 6 days after his birthday in January and not to mention I almost got raped 4 years ago he tryed to get me to meet him somewhere alone I called the police found out he raped a 14 year old girl and with all the deaths I had I get super tight in my chest and I start to shake and heavy breathing 

Hi Cherbear,

it definitely sounds like you have PTSD. In such a short life you have dealt with so much and I would suggest seeing your  GP to get some really good counselling. Even if you just print off what you have written here and show the GP so you don’t have to go through it all. It sounds like you are having panic attacks. When your chest goes tight and breathing changes, just try and focus on the fact that it will pass and just like a wave in the sea it will wash over you and then go. 

Your life will not always be like this but somehow you need to deal with the past, then learn to have it behind you. Let it make you stronger, not weaker. I’m could still have meltdowns over how mum died, but she is st peace now, she is no longer suffering and I too have got to try and stop suffering so I take a deep breathe and put it behind me, smile and let it make me a better person for the things that are happening now. Not in the past. 

Good luck and you will get through this but please get counselling. 

Pomdon

Hi I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your dad, I have not long lost my dad he had oesophageal cancer four years ago he had massive surgery to remove part of his oesophagas stomach and spleen the surgeons couldn’t rejoin his remaining oesophagas so he had a stoma bag on his neck and couldn’t eat or drink anything for 18 months he was fed through a jejonostomy tube via a pump he had another surgery to rejoin his remaining oesophagas up using a piece of his colon he was then able to eat and drink again and was doing well he always had back pain after the surgeries and surgeons put it down to the extent of the surgery but unfortunately Christmas just gone my dads back pain was getting worse he had a scan and we found out after biopsies were taken in March that his cancer was back and had spread to lymph nodes and adrenal gland I helped my mum to care for him and was with him every day he passed away on Easter Sunday we was all with him when he passed away he was in his own home what he wanted with my mum me my brother and sister holding his hand when he died I can’t stop thinking about it I am suffering anxiety palpitations and I keep reliving every second of the Easter Sunday the day he passed away I don’t know if I have post traumatic stress disorder but after reading your post I feel like you I feel like there was things I should of done differently and things I should of said I can’t grieve as I feel numb I can’t believe he’s not here and I’m never going to see him again I’m devastated I feel like I want to die to be with my dad again I was his youngest daughter I did spend the most time with my dad caring for him as I live near and my brother and sister have young children it’s a horrible thing to go through to watch somebody you love suffer the horrible symptoms of cancer is just devastating the pain he was in and him getting so thin and weak I can’t get it out of my mind 

I feel your pain even years on.  Your dad went through so much, when I read your post I cried.  There is a stillness as I type now.  I am thankful to have been at his side when he passed away, just like you were. With both parents I was, my name was the last word my mum said.  Even though the memories of experiencing it are distressing, I wouldn't want it any other way.  To not have been there would be worse. And now I can laugh and enjoy life again for which I am also thankful for.  

I wasn't a good daughter, I think it serves me right to feel this guilt and pain.  But since typing my original post, I was hospitalised, I kinda had a breakdown I think and 24 hour panic attack where my brain just  flipped and I felt like I was literally back in the ward with my dad, seeing, smelling and hearing everything. I think my case is rare as some other stuff happened in my life and it all happened pretty much at the same time.