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So I seem to be suffering less today with gas and indigestion after the feeding tube was fitted, I've eaten a little better but not up to my previous standards. I am sitting here typing this now with a touch of heartburn that I know is going to build into trapped wind. Once I have finished this entry I will have to go hit the Gaviscon again. I hate that stuff.
There is a hell of a lot to do to care for this damned tube, it has to be flushed with water every day to keep it clear (even if you are...
Another day gone, another day closer to those damned treatments. Today has been a day of visits by various nurses to check on and drill the care of the feeding tube into me. Yes, I have this lovely little plastic socket in my stomach now, with a little tube hanging down. I can now pump water, food (provided its a liquid, of course) and medicine direct into my stomach. Lovely. The darned thing has caused me grief today - I am suffering badly from gas still, it get trapped on the way up and I feel...
I took the initial step to find closure today, I visited a Bereavement Counsellor. It kind of feels like with 'closure' that I'm supposed to forget you. Yet, I never will, ever. You played such a huge role in my life. I managed to compose myself and not once cried when I spoke about the lead up to your passing. I wish I could of held your hand, just sat with you. I am almost in tears now, okay, I fib, I am crying.. gently. Just for the loss we had, yet I am so blessed to of known you....
I am feeling very worried today. My scan was fine but I still have this pain (ache) under my breastbone and don't really ever feel very hungry. I have had irritable bowel/stomach symptoms all the way through the chemo and it just worries me that my appetite is not good. One of my best pleasures has always been eating and it makes me sad not to enjoy it anymore. As my CT scan was normal I feel like I'm making a fuss about nothing but I'm so scared it's coming back. In my mind I feel that the last...
Alls calm is Christine's world.
I had a wonderful months holiday in Cambodia and Vietnam. In Cambodia we stayed in Seam Reap, visited Angkor Wat, and took a helicopter ride over the sites. Vietnam was a great experience, starting in the South we stayed in Saigon and took a 3 day trip down the Mekong Delta, then headed north to the beautiful town/Cities of Hoi An, Halong Bay, Hanoi, and finished with a 6 day 4x4 trip up into the mountains finishing in Sapa which was spectacular. This is such...
So, no diary yesterday as I was in the hospital having the PEG feeding tube done in preparation for treatments starting next week. I have spoken before about how I wasn't looking forward to it, nothing much changed my mind before I went in. Unfortunately it took 5 or 6 attempts to get a bloody cannula in me to give the sedative (at this point I thought it was going to be full general anesthetic). After about the fourth attempt I was ready to walk - in fact it was only my wife being there that stopped...
OK so my hubby started his chemo today.......6hr session....
When we went for his last appointment i specifically asked if i could be with him to support him...we got told "no......the nurses are there to look after him in the hospital....your job is to look after him at home".
My job? My job? It's not my job......it is my wish..he is my husband!
He has been at the hospital all day...and i have been sat at home crying all day at the thought of him going through this alone.....
...So. Peg fitting tomorrow and I get all the gory details on the chemo. Joy of joys. It also means a overnight stay for the PEG - not that this bothers me that much but who enjoys a night on the ward?
On another note, after yesterdays adventures with trying to eat normal food I have, possibly as a direct result, suffered with constant indigestion today. Everything has repeated on me and I have had heartburn all day. Gaviscon has been my friend. My friend that tastes disgusting. Well, that is one problem...
As the dreaded treatments draw ever closer I find myself making unexpected progress. I continued to try and find things I could eat, things to practice with. At home alone is a good time to attempt this, I can get into a mess or spit things out without getting any comments from children or generally just grossing people out.
To this end I went to the shops after the morning school run. My original intention was to (apart from getting the kids dinner for today) just stock on up some yoghurts and the...
I find myself wondering how some ideas have gotten fixed in my head. Rather like the idea that I had to predominately use one side of my mouth to eat and drink over the other AND how on earth I managed to do this with the wrong side. Thinking back on it there were only a few occasions that lead me to have problems swallowing water (once I was properly allowed to try) at the hospital. I was, I am fairly sure, doing this with the side of my mouth with the graft in, in other words where the tumour was...
