So. Peg fitting tomorrow and I get all the gory details on the chemo. Joy of joys. It also means a overnight stay for the PEG - not that this bothers me that much but who enjoys a night on the ward?
On another note, after yesterdays adventures with trying to eat normal food I have, possibly as a direct result, suffered with constant indigestion today. Everything has repeated on me and I have had heartburn all day. Gaviscon has been my friend. My friend that tastes disgusting. Well, that is one problem that won't last, the radio will (temporarily) do my taste buds in and I won't taste how horrid the gaviscon is. At least it offered some relief.
I stuck to soup and smoothies (and my supplement drinks) today, I'm not allowed to eat tomorrow until after the procedure, so hopefully I won't suffer the damned indigestion as a result of eating more conservatively today.
Tiredness has also plagued me this afternoon, but then perhaps I overdid the bike ride today. It was only a 4.5 mile ride, but I did attempt a hill which previously I wouldn't have even changed down a gear for. This time I was gasping for breath and feeling like my legs were made of jelly after halfway (possibly less), so I made a show of stopping and checking my phone for messages (can't let anyone see I can't ride up a short hill!) and pretending to reply to one whilst I got my breath back. Nonsense, I know, but what can I say - there is only one thing worse than being weak and that is giving the appearance of weakness. Just because I have (or had, to use the more hopeful past tense) cancer, it doesn't mean I'm not still the same stubborn, prideful, masochist of a man that I was before :-P
On another note, I had a phone call with my mother tonight - whe said something which gave me a bit of hope. She said that she is starting to hear my old voice again, the timbre and tone, when I talk - which is nice to know. I don't know if I will ever be free of a slight speech impediment (especially with my "esses"), I have lost 70% of my tongue (lost! what a stupid way to put it, makes it seem like I'll find it down the back of the sofa one day or something! Its not lost, its been taken away) which is going to change my voice somewhat. Hopefully as the swelling goes down and the remaining part of functional tongue gets stronger I'll gain more function - like being able to lick my lips. You have no idea what its like not being able to lick your lips until you can't do it any more. Or stick my tongue out. The furthest I can manage is to just about get the tip of it to just poke out of my lips, nothing more. I have no idea how much of that kind of movement my tongue will be capable of.
Oh well, I can't say I'll be that bothered if I can't stick my tongue out any more - but I will have to work hard to get rid of the speech impediment. Perhaps I will have to start practising, maybe singing will help. It'll also annoy the hell out of everyone, always a bonus I think :-P
