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I’m feeling a bit like someone who made a New Year’s Resolution but whose enthusiasm is flagging. The positivity and determination I had when I set all my goals is just not there a lot of the time. So, to light the necessary fire underneath my backside, I’ve decided to write...get it down in black and white for all to witness.
Life has thrown some obstacles (aside from the obvious!) in my path to achieving my goals:
Another day in the chair - in the time it had taken to say hello to Pete, taken my Emend anti Emetic pill, fended off a barrage of tea offers and logged into the network, I was half way through my fluids, intravenous anti Emetic and wotnot – with just about enough time to spare for an episode of “Breaking Bad” before getting into the Cisplatin Chemo drug for 3 hours…
That whistled past – with a couple of visits to the loo to freshen up after all the tea and assorted lashings...
My husband delayed going to the Dr until he had no choice. He was diagnosed with colorectal cancer and told that he would need a temporary colostomy and operation plus radio and chemotherapy. He was 51. He refused and has refused all treatment ever since. He hasn't had a scan for 18 months and he refuses to discuss anything with his family. He has sought help from people on the internet and put his faith in people who promise to cure. This has caused an enormous rift and although I have a lot...
The first thing I thought looking back at Cycle 1, is that I was actually a lot rougher, following the Chemo, than I felt at the time… put another way, I think that by the end of the Cycle, I was feeling an awful lot better than what I felt had become the norm, when coming into treatment… To say this another way; when I was in agonies of acid indigestion and back ache and a pain running up the right hand side of my chest, then into my neck, head and teeth – I was sort of OK with that; it was containable...
So back in early 2015 my partner was diagnosed TC (early stage in the left side). He was diagnosed early Feb and operated on end of Feb 2015. Since his TC things have not been the same between us. Here's the chain of events that occurred:
Saturday 4th February 2017
Just a quick update, today has been much better than yesterday, we had a nice meal at our neighbours last night, although back home and ready for bed by 10pm. Not like the 'before' days when we'd come home in the early hours, but we will get those days back I hope. My neighbour had breast cancer six years ago and she lives life to the full.
So this morning I got up after a rubbish nights sleep, hot flushes and painful joints, I did feel much better though...
Feb 2017
My story so far...
I am one in eight. You won't see me on an ad campaign or in a magazine, yet there are thousands like me.
I had stage 1 breast cancer in early 2014, not many people know about it. Even some of my family and friends don't know - my fight, my choice. Those who do know kept it to themselves for me.
My cancer was picked up by my first routine mammogram, I was 51 at the time.
I had no lump or other symptoms so feel very lucky that I was in the right...
Each day, I put on a brave face. There are those who take no notice of it, who take me as I am and with whom I feel comfortable, but there are others who find it hard to cope with the cancer and with whom I cannot share the confusion and pain underneath. For those friends, I must wear my brave face, and this is a poem I wrote for them:
I buy my brave faces online.
The standard design, inexpensive, disposable, sold in packs of twenty.
A fresh face every day.
“Hide your true face behind the privacy...
