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Struggling to function on little sleep over the last week. I'm running on absolute empty. 4hours sleep a night average. Struggling to get dad to the bathroom and he's at serious risk of falling/tripping. My brother has had to return home and so I face tonight alone. Calls for overnight support currently unsuccessful.
Dad's wish is to be at home. It's untenable for both of us. How the hell do I manage this?
Soooo this week has been full of ups and downs, the memories, the emotions...I don’t know how to feel, should I be feeling anything, I’m not out of the woods yet so is there actually anything to celebrate.. half of me wants to go ‘Hell Yeah you made it to a year since your diagnosis’ and the other says ‘Don’t count your chickens just yet’
A Bit Of My History
It’s been a year since I was rushed into hospital, after a blood test showed I needed immediate attention. My naivety of the situation...
Amazing what the company of family does to reduce levels of stress. Caring is a very lonely place, isn't it? I wouldn't have it any other way but bloody hell.....I've never been as pleased to see family.
We've entered a new phase. Less humour. Not exactly horror because it's expected but it's shit all the same. So many questions I should have asked dad. My brother said the same. So it's not exactly regret, more the secret life of dad.
Nothing could have...
Hi to all reading this,
I would like to share with you my experience of Colposcopsy and biopsy. Maybe to settle any fears of anyone attending colposcopy soon.
I was referred for colposcopy by a less than friendly gynaecologist last month after an internal exam and several symptoms that were causing me concern. She did state that she could see a "silky patch" (no clue what that means) on my cervix and a few other bits that she would like to be looked into. Thus left me feeling confused...
There are times in your life when you come across people that have an effect on your life. This is a tribute to one such lady, a lady who although I only knew for 48 hours, I am so pleased I met her and can’t thank her enough for making me laugh and smile when I was feeling pretty poorly.
This is the story and not all of it but I can tell you now it is one that is staying with me for the rest of my life. Those people that say cancer hospitals are full of sadness could not be more wrong and this...
I have a great network of support and they have been there since first diagnosis in 2002 - they will do anything for me, all I have to do is ask and for that I am extremely grateful but it’s on days like today that I realise that ultimately it is me and me alone that has to take the tablets, deal with the side effects and keep going as best I can - if I don’t then it’s all been for nothing. The chemotherapy is zapping my appetite - I already blow over in the smallest of winds, I am THAT skinny and...
In Feb.2014 I became not very well with stomach problems, No matter what I did nothing helped. After visits to my doctor and several attempts with tablets etc. the situation became more serious. I went to see a specialist who advised he would do some tests. i.e. endoscopy etc. However before any tests could be done I fell very ill and fortunately I was in hospital when this happened. I cannot explain how ill I was but the specialist advised my husband and family that I could have died. Fortunately...
Never have I been.more familiar with the bowels of strangers than on the cancer ward. The privacy curtains ain't soundproof.
Morning sir. How are you feeling today?
Pardon?
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
Good. Yes, fine.
Have you opened your bowels today, sir?
Pardon?
Your bowels. How are they?
?????
HAVE YOU HAD A POO???
Chat therafter about colour, consistency and regularity
Four men on a ward. Same conversation. All taking pain relief and all constipated...
It is what it is- I say that so frequently. I guess it's a way of trying to manage watching my dad become more fragile and frail. He's both of those things but he's also stubborn and determined. I'm trying to decide if those are good qualities or if they amplify the sadness of his deterioration. Jury's out. He chooses to do things when he should ask for help, the fool!
Today's first......seeing dad naked for the first time in a while. He's skin and bone and it's desperately...
My mum was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer and spot on the liver November 17 and told 6-12months at the moment I am the sole caregiver she is painfully thin now and her pain is kept under control with Tramadol she has got over the constipation with Laxido and sennacot .She was doing really well until last week although she started to struggle to find word and sometimes the conversation was difficult as she would lose the thread she wasn’t to bad Then last week she was really confused really unsteady...
