Amazing what the company of family does to reduce levels of stress. Caring is a very lonely place, isn't it? I wouldn't have it any other way but bloody hell.....I've never been as pleased to see family.
We've entered a new phase. Less humour. Not exactly horror because it's expected but it's shit all the same. So many questions I should have asked dad. My brother said the same. So it's not exactly regret, more the secret life of dad.
Nothing could have prepared me for this, not even knowing dad's diagnosis earlier. What I'm trying to deal with is a permanent, heavy, sad feeling. It does feel like a weight. It feels endless. I'm tired of pretending all is well and when people ask I say I'm not ok. That's not my usual style, to be honest. I don't find reading web pages helpful. I don't want to read a list of how to cope strategies but maybe writing this helps.
Onwards.
