It is what it is- I say that so frequently. I guess it's a way of trying to manage watching my dad become more fragile and frail. He's both of those things but he's also stubborn and determined. I'm trying to decide if those are good qualities or if they amplify the sadness of his deterioration. Jury's out. He chooses to do things when he should ask for help, the fool!
Today's first......seeing dad naked for the first time in a while. He's skin and bone and it's desperately sad to see. I always thought it would be awkward- we've never been a family to streak- but it really was ok. We're still talking and maintaining eye contact.....survived that hurdle.
Carers arrive in a while.....a shower for dad and respite for me. I feel the usual guilt but I'm also knackered. I'm eternally grateful to be able to stand back for 30 minutes and take a walk round the block.
