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Day 5! 2 weeks break now, Well, I have to go in twice for an hour each time over the next two weeks but that's nothing compared to how the last months been. Ughhh! Aching all over today, Feeling ok otherwise though, just rough. So I'm going to sit here for the next three days........WITH COOKIES!!!!!!!!
Day 4,
I Thought a progressive diary on here would help me keep things in focus and in perspective. I feel a bit rougher than the other day, Face feels fat as hell haha, Must be all the drip fluids there pumping into me, Still no pain whatsoever though so I can't complain about a hot and fat feeling face lol feels a bit like sunburn. Hairs thinning a bit at the front but I don't really care. I'd swap my hair for a break from that nasty pain anytime. xxx Love you all and thanks for the support....
Just got home from my second day of my first cycle of chemotherapy, And all I have to say is WOW and maybe WOW again. It's working already, I haven't had any pain for 1 day , I'm now down to 20mg morphine 12 hour slow release, twice a day, when I was Taking 120-150mg of morphine, 4000mg paracetamol, 240mg codeine every day and still had pain.
So happy right now :)
A week ago today saw the start of my sore throat. No worries there, I had been talking a lot in work.
Day off on Wednesday, spent quietly on my own, didn't feel up to planned gym session. Thankful that I had rescheduled my lunch date for Thursday, just couldn't pull out of that one.
Biggest effort on Thursday, an hours drive through beautiful countryside in glorious sunshine (well in my car really, but you know what I mean) OK so my Aunt and I talked alot and I began choking on my words.
Friday...
No one slept last night. Mind racing and tears falling. It seems so unreal. Grandma is gone forever. Her doctor told my Dad and Aunt, she wasn't in any pain. Her organs failed in the end. I got told she let out a sigh and passed away, so peacefully. My brother, Simon, is coming up from London today. He can't believe she's gone too, he wanted to say goodbye. I know she died knowing she was loved by everyone. 4 weeks is so short, so time at all. I can't dwell on that now. I have to remember my memories...
My brave Grandma lost her 4 week battle with cancer this afternoon. Her son and Daughter were at her side as she died.
Last night I got told Grandma took a turn for the worse. Dad, my Aunt and Gaynor (one of Grandma's sisters) were called to her side. She was drugged up and sleeping. At home, my Mum broke the news and told me to expect the worse. We cried and cuddled together. After 5 hours, Dad came home. Grandma was still with us. She woke up and looked at them around her bed, joked I am not gone yet! They were happy she was ok.
Then this morning my Aunt called and said Grandma is calling for her kids. Dad...
time 21:27. Never blogged before, dont know how i should do it? do i do it like a star trek log captain? if thats the case i would like scotty to beam me up. Trying to do it whilst i eat tomato soup. Not sure how succsesful this will be. This may end abruptly and unfinished if i spill it on the keyboard (and yeah that is a high probability!)
Didnt realise i could write my feelings down in a blog. I have 5 months of trauma, tears, happiness, love, arguments, sulks, cuddles, Kisses, scaryiness, hospital...
