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the kids are back from nannys today and so i have something to keep me occupied, when they're around i can put all the crap to the back of my mind. still can't accept whats going on and what is going to happen in the future but as there's nothing i can do to change it then eventually i guess i will have to.
I have an issue with time! (She says looking at the time, 11.40pm and having only just started typing when she has to get up at 6am for work!) I have always had a problem with time, all those long days sat in school looking out of the window and wishing I was elsewhere turned me into a bit of a daydreamer, or maybe it was just in my nature to sit and dream. Whatever, it became a habit to sit and think of much more pleasant things than the 8 times tables, a habit that followed me into later life....
Well mum had her scans and radioactive injections!
She said the hospital in Oxford were fabulous so helpful curtious, didnt feel rushed or out of place.
Mum has said she is worried the cancer is everywhere, in her brain lungs etc, although surely her CT scan would ahve shown a massive spread especially as this is apparently a slow growing cancer? So now she also has me worried!
She seems ok, came with us for a walk to the forest with the children managed to push my younger daughter in her pushchair...
i hate what 'c' is doing to me
i hate what 'c' is taking from my family
it's taken cuddles from my other half,
it's taken relaxing in a nice hot bath,
it's taken the freedom to jump on my bike,
it's taken me away from a job that i like.
it's going to take more as time goes by
bits from inside, though i don't know why
what have i done to deserve this curse
i know it really could be a lot worse
on going to see the doctor for my results, his next statement my life changed forever, THERE WAS CANCER in my right ovary....... shocked gobsmacked no words to describe it ... i was quickly told that i had stage 1A grade 3 ovarian cancer and that i was to begin a course of chemotherapy. stunned i went through the next 15 to 20 minutes listening to the doctor and the cancer nurse and then having to go outside and tell my partner, i don't think it has sunk in yet.. having to tell family members...
It isnt easy knowing that you are afraid to live with cancer. First there is the fear of being operated on and dying in hospital with MRSA or c.diff. Then there is the fear of being alone while on chemo and on top of that 30 sessions of radiotherapy which killed my younger brother.Death has to be the sweeter of the options. Trouble is,no one wants to talk about it. I have had cancer for 3 years now,my surgeon who took out the original tumour said I had 2 to 5 years without treatment so my time must...
Well when my St Vincents nurse usually calls its just to check up on my pain and pain management and see how chemo is progressing. This time however a magic form came out her bag and made my day! Surprises catch me off guard and i get a bit anxious when things dont stick to the usual routine, but this was a good one!!
*Isis, i have a proposal for you - 000ft, stomach sinks, am i in trouble?! Whats going on?!*
She proceeds to tell me there is something called the Willow Foundation who organise special...
Hi All,
My brain feels like scrambled eggs. Hmmm... scrambled eggs sounds good actually. I haven’t eaten today yet. I am writing this blog because I am sitting down at the moment, I am so tired and I don’t have anyone I can talk to. I’ve tried to have a cup of tea but it has gone cold and been in the microwave three times now it is probably radioactive. I give up. Everybody says you need to look after yourself too. You won’t be able to look after anyone else if you’re ill too. Well, I will look after...
I just wanted to thank everyone from Macmillan who helped my Grandad.
He was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 years ago and had a two course of palliative radiotherapy, the most recent being January 2012.
Having been relatively well throughout, he was admitted to hospital with a separate heart condition in May. A scan showed that his cancer had progressed and he was told of his poor prognosis.
Macmillan became involved at this point. He had always wanted to be at home rather than in hospital when...
