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It has been a long time since my last post, partly because I did not feel I could share, and partly because things have been so hectic.
The first chemotherapy sessions of IV ifosfomide whilst halting the growth of some of the tumours did nothing to prevent new ones growing. So hubby was given a rest before they decided to try a new trial drug, which was in tablet form called axitinib, which they thought would be more suited to his lifestyle, as he was still working on through the original chemo...
I am, I guess, in quarantine for ten days or so: thank goodness for e-readers and the Internet.
So far, I think I've been fortunate. I had the docetaxel/cisplatin drips on Thursday - start of the first cycle - and have had no nausea, only hiccups (fixed by a glass of cold milk) and a spot of trapped wind indigestion (fixed with camomile tea).
I was a bit tired for a couple of days, then hit the nastiest part: a couple of nights' bad aching in my hips that nothing would touch except, marginally...
I had every faith in our large hospital, the Royal Berkshire Hospital, and praised them to anybody who would listen.
The Top Cancer Doc told me that my treatment would stop on the 6th Course. My Record Book says 9 courses. On the 6th course, another Doc told me treatment would continue because I was reacting so well (from 70 down to 10 PSA). On the 7th treatment, yet another Doc seemed surprised to see my rotten Finger and Toenails, and went away to confer with colleagues. He came back - handed...
I am so very tired of spending days terrified of what will happen in the future. More exhausting and painful than any chemotherapy, is that uncertainty that seems to come hand in hand after being diagnosed with cancer, I have suffered at the hands of ill inspected xrays, and have paid the price for said events, yet I don't want to blame my oncologist or anyone for what happened, as despite everything I know I feel like one of the lucky ones. Yet every single time it returns, every time I have to...
I could really shake myself by the scruff of the neck, boot myself up the hind quarters, give myself a talking to, tell myself to stop feeling sorry for myself, feel disgusted at my self-pity and wallowing. I try to be positive in my blogs but hell..........
Today, a dear friend was talking about her radiotherapy programme.(She and my man used to wave at each other across the chemo suite.) I am sad and sickened by the progress of her disease. How I HATE HATE HATE cancer. I am so humbled by my friend...
Almost another disaster today they say it comes in 3`s. First Hearing Aid down the Pan 2nd smashed my Glasses. Today lost my phone. We went into the station to get the tickets for Saturday. My pocket was empty. Oh god where is it.
When I got in the car there it was on the floor. Whow! Lucky.
Next off to get some carpet for the van. Those who remember. Earlier this year Mavis asked me to remove the fitted carpet in the Van and replace it with...
well, i never expected to feel quite so crap whilst having chemo- constantly tired, loss of appetite, change in tastes, alternating between diarrhea and constipation and pain that i can only just keep at bay with tablets. still, at least i only have two more cycle(6weeks) and then i'll be having my radical cystectomy - this is the worst part and what i'm not looking forward to. everyone keeps saying how lucky i was that they caught my cancer early and that i'm getting treatment to get rid of it and...
And so my Mum's journey to kick Cancer's butt has started..."officially"...
Her Oncologist is lovely, as is his Registrar...they were kind, and explained everything clearly and honestly. Mum (like me) copes better with things when she knows what she's dealing with...knowledge is key (for her anyway...I know for some, it doesn't work like that). She said she wants to know, "warts and all"...
Firstly, they wish to do a repeat CT scan just to see how things are...
Today is Sunday 30th September 2012 and the day I hoped would never arrive. At 4.30pm today my dear sweet, stubborn, hard-working, courageous and brave mum decided that enough was enough and she did not want to stay in this world any longer. She tried so hard to hold on until my sisters arrived to be with her, but god's call was to great and she was pleased to go to him. Her breathing was very laboured for about half an hour, then she opened her eyes and looked towards the window. From the look...
