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Thought I finished With Cancer, Finished treatment for prostate cancer over a period of four years. in March this year, Back now having investigation of swollen lymph nodes after coming off Prostat 3 six months ago.
Tony W
Spent Saturday evening having a meal with the partner of my man's brother. This woman is also a widow. (My man's brother died in an accident 3 years ago.)
The partner is over from NZ going round the UK. It was a completely unexpected invitation, and I had some preconceived ideas about this woman, but thought I should be courteous to her and besides Saturday evenings can be lonely.
Well, we talked and talked and talked and managed to eat a little! And we laughed and we cried quite openly...
Everything was going swimmingly Dad was feeling so good after chemo he did the gardening and cut the neighbours grass as he has done since her hubby passed away.When i rang sun morning he said he had a rough night in and out the loo sweating and having weird dreams.I sent my hubs round to offer a trip to hospital to get checked out which was declined.After a busy day at work and kids in bed we get a call from a very ill Dad to get him to A and E.My husband took him and yes he was admitted with temp...
That's literally the type of day I had yesterday. Yesterday was the first day I got back to driving my car. I had an axillary node clearance and with swelling, fluid retention etc. I found my arm movement very restricted. However, with lots of physio and believe it or not a real old fashioned method of wearing a large tubi-grip around my chest area to compress the area and stop the swelling, I got to a really good place where my arm movement improved so much I can drive again....yipee and happy...
M is in hospital to try to control his pain. Maybe that's the good bit. The bad is that the pain has been horrific and the meds to try to control it have been worse. The cancer has now spread to his sacrum, the base of the spine, leading to intense pain in the sacral nerve which I know is incredibly difficult to control. He was given increasingly larger doses of MST and Sevredol which caused terrifying hallucinations and confusion, then he was given diclofenac, amitriptyline and eventually, last...
Here goes ........
18 years ago my Dad was looked after by Macmillan nurses. (He was dying at home from bowel cancer, primary in the liver.) The nurses helped my Mum and helped me, too. How can I forget what I owe them, for making me Dad's departure from this world 'easier' for him, for being there for him and for my Mum and for me.
I would like to say my man received the same sort of wonderful care when he was dying. Yes, he did speak occasionally to a nurse at the hospice, but his...
It's been just over 48hrs since my Mum was diagnosed. It still doesn't feel real...I feel numb...I can't fathom what we have just been told. 6 weeks ago, we thought she had a bout of sciatica...and now, we've just been told my Mum may not be with us next Christmas.
Afraid. Numb. Shock. Upset. Angry.
It's not real...
I'll write down the timeline shortly, to explain how we are where we are now. It's shockingly fast and unimaginably unfair. But right now, I/we are still dealing...
Swanney: Would sir care for a starter? Some garlic bread perhaps?
Renton: No, thank you. I'll proceed directly to the intravenous injection of hard drugs, please.
I couldn't help thinking of this scene from Trainspotting today; it's been a veritable banquet of intravenous drugs, the main courses being - since they still don't know the primary site - a general-purpose double whammy of docetaxel and cisplatin. I can't remember the exact order, but it started with a savoury course of saline...
