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Its been a cupple of days since my last blog when i found out my cancer was terminal and being offered a clinicaltrail to prolong and increase my quality of life...i still dont really know how i feel,ive taken care of most of the practical issues...i.e thinking about the future, talking to my daughters dad whom i am no longer with and now what? ive got nothing left to do for now....and i think i think about it more when i yhave nothing to occupy my mind....i have has a long telephone conversation...
Had a lovely nurse ring me yesterday to say my chemo has been brought forward to this Tuesday 7th so the waiting has been reduced thankfully!
Now as the sun is shining im off for a cycle
laters Pete.
I'm pleased to say that mum seems to be doing well this week.
The good news is: I have only five radiotherapy sessions left to go with this phase of the treatment. The bad news is: it ain't half sore.
Anyway, it's been a busy time since I last posted (yes, I know, meant to be taking it easy so shouldn't be busy). As I was feeling OK towards the end of last week we decided to take the opportunity presented by the three day holiday weekend to go away for a night. I rested in the car, and lounged around on sofas but in truth it probably wasn't a brilliant...
thats how i feel, LOST.......i spoke to my mum, every day..we loved to moan!!! i miss that so much. i can see her now, sitting in my gardan, laughing and joking,, I WANT THAT BACK , RIGHT NOW...PLEASE......WHY WHY WHY . I THOUGHT ,you would always be here ,right here....but no, you really have gone. not in my heart, never ever but in every other sence....i hate it when the sun shines. i hate it when it rains, i hate it when the day brakes,,and my pain starts all over again...........missing you....
After losing my Valarie, my world has completely fallen apart. As I gingerly attempted to reintegrate my new, raw reality with the life I used to know, I often find it jarring. Friendships that used to just work feel awkward. Sometimes words that are meant to comfort feel like sandpaper to my soul, and surprisingly, people I barely used to know became life-long friends.
My loss has made me an outsider to many. While friends and family want to support me, they didn’t know how. How do you help...
Only wrote a blog a few days ago on how things seemed so much better and now i am not so sure,,
called the doctor yesterday errol is not feeling very well again very sleepy started coughing during the night and has a lump appear on his chest.
Wasnt our usual doctor and she said he might have a chest infection although she listened and said it was ok, doesnt know what the lump is and to show the doctor on monday when we go to birmingham regarding a trial, i was feeling not so good last week so maybe...
Well i will start with saying thanx for the pm,s ive had from friends on here and on facebook with support for sunday ,and since ,i know i havent replied but thats not coz im not grateful i am but i have had a few really tough days ,and yes i should have come on here and said that but i didnt want to upset anyone, i like to help people not make them sad ,but i have just been to see my dr and he has kicked my butt into realising if i dont talk and share how im feeling it will just get worse ,and yes...
Its been a while since I wrote my last blog - was in hospital last week for a biopsy on the hot spots in the left hand side breast area had the biopsy done last Wednesday and they have just phoned to say that they hope that the results will be through for me to see the consultant on Friday, they are phoning me tomorrow to confirm they are through and to make an appointment - the cancer nurse says that they need to do some more staining whatever that might mean.
I hate the waiting I know I definitely...
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