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Thought you all needed cheering up after yesterday and was worrying about you lot feeling angry etc for me....After reading all your wonderful comments and nearly wanting to cry from being so touched by all your kind words and even status updates and pms etc etc..... when some of you are so much worse off than me.... yet you still take time to wish me love etc...so...
I decide that I am not called Little My for nothing and WILL NOT let the b*st*rds grind me down and next week is next week so no point...
i have not written a blog before i am feelin very low and fed up. i just want me lovely dad back - i miss him every day, there is not a moment that goes by when i dont think about him.
it has been 16weeks today since the time came when he shut his eyes and went to sleep, i remember it like it was yesterday, i was sat with him holding his hand.
i know people tell me he is better off where he is now and he is not in any pain but i am, my heart is aching, i am feeling very alone even though i have...
I hav waykd today wiv payn I can deel wiv. It dus not hert lots + lots wich is such a releef. It still herts but that kind of payn i can tayk, I hav had no extra payn killas so far, jus wot I am ment to hav.
My new plan of acshon is to proov thees doctas rong. they say my legs will not wawk...but i can wiggal my tows!!! So today I will moov my feet and mayk them darnse!
Feels beta to be in a hosp I hav been in befor. I prefer it heer, I mooved hosp yesterday. Still need to get sumwair wiv the gamma...
And lo the gods looked down on earth... and what they saw was good....
and behold... they saw Little My taking heed of her friends ' advice fand trying to take it easy.....
Little My sayeth unto the gods... b*gger off solicitors and cats and work and life stuff... I will take heed of the great prophets Madge and Nanny b and their disciples too numerous to mention and taketh the cancer seriously and will relax and recuperate today...
And lo the gods looketh down on Little My relaxing and sayeth unto...
I haven't been on for a few weeks because my dad died on 4th July.
5 weeks ago tonight my mum was called in by the doctor to say that my dad had fluid on his lungs and around his heart and that he wasn't likely to last the weekend. Luckily he got through the weekend and we managed to get him moved to Ty Olwen Hospice on the Tuesday. He was there nearly a week. I can't say enough about the amazing staff at the Hospice. They made my dad's last few days really comfortable and made my mum...
after meeting my wifes friend at hospital 2 days ago i had to smile when thinking back to comments i made on line concerning stupid things people say. we explained i have myeloma which she had not heard of [ why should she ] and that i was on chemo . from her lips came you look so well are you always red faced. so much runs through your mind ,look inside me i have punch holes through my femurs , skull and several ribs also a nice scar up my back where they collapsed my lung and removed my front 4th...
Realising that vitamin D levels could be an outcome indicator, led me into the world of prognostic...
Ok deep breath and type slowly...in.. out.... aaaahhhh, sniff the pheromones (trying not to kill Shaz and Madge with exhaustion!)
So, you know I am a nutter by now and I know and despite being asked to join mensa as a child, I am really really stupid when it comes to me and me being superwoman/ etc and live on stupid cloud cookoo land when it comes to health and thinking I can do anything etc...and my brain makes really stupid assumptions.....so sometimes I need a slap and a reality check to actually get...
I fynd fings getting harder and harder
Why is lyf so unfayr?
I feel lyk my hart is herting mor eech day an i don no how too mayk it stop
I feel lyk I hav fayled every1 bcoz i am no betta... i fink fings r worse than eva
I'm sorry
I onlee cry wen it herts... it feels lyk all the tym.
xxx
I am doing ok and getting energy levels back.Am having a break off site for a while as it can effect me emotionally and is no good for my well being.My way of coping.Be back in a few weeks time we hope as coming up 1 year since diagnosis.
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