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Today I met with my oncologist, not my radiologist, so now I have 3 'ologists' if you count my haematologist too. Do you get a prize when you get to a certain number?
Last night I discovered Hairy still up and about at 2am, clearly not coping with everything that's going on. I urged him to come to bed but I didn't hear him slide in next to me until about 4. Unsurprisingly this meant that when I tried to shift his back side out of bed and off to my appointment this morning he was in no hurry...
So, I have switched back to this blog from the one which focussed on Radiotherapy and it's immediate effects. I cannot believe it has been 6 months since my expected to be benign lump was removed - 2nd January 2014 - I remember it well, or at least the build up to it anyway.
Such a life altering operation!
During those six months I have completed Radiotherapy treatment, recovered from that, encountered 2 flare ups with my Multiple Sclerosis (the latest of which subsided only 5 days ago), had...
Please switch to that blog if you want to read more
I know it may seem old to some people but I do not feel old - I am 48 now. Back in 2010 I noticed a mole on my neck that started bleeding when I dried myself with a towel or when it rubbed on my shirt collar. I went to the doctor who said it was probably nothing but he would refer me to a consultant... he forgot and 6 weeks later I rang and chased it and got an appointment in early December 2010 I think it was.
The consultant took one look and said it was malignant melanoma... I was a bit worried...
I am not the kind of person who keeps a blog. I am not the kind of person who freely expresses emotions. I am not the kind of person who shows his feelings easily. With this in mind, I have no idea why I decided to do this, but I hope it will be therapeutic. I am not interested in making it look nice or being easy to read but I do need to somehow get my fears and anger out there in a way that offers me a bit of release and a bit of anonymity at the same time. So I guess that is why; not for sympathy...
What does that make the radiologist? Chief fryer? King of all things butt-kicking!? Cancer Killer Extraordinaire?
I'd be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn't a little apprehensive about my assessment for radiotherapy tomorrow but equally it's another step forward and there is no downside to that so I'm also a little bit excited. I can't imagine it's something I'd want to take up as a hobby but given the choice between staring at it for a bit longer or getting it attacked like a cheap science...
What if it comes back?
I asked, The doctors eyes fell low,
Best not to think about the past,
The future’s where to go...
But what if this lump’s it again,
How do I know we caught it?
He said, best course is to refrain
From thinking more cells bought it.
I need to feel I'll cope next time,
That I’ll spot that its there...
That you won't inject orange slime
And shave off all my hair!
The simple questions annoy you,
And yet there's no solution,
I did the things...
