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Well, only a little bit...
I seem to have acquired quite a few new readers, and I don't want to let them down by not blogging at all. I haven't had much cancer-related to say over the last couple of weeks. My arm is still a bit swollen but it has gone down a lot. I try to wear the compression bandage recommended by the physio at the hospice, but it slips down my arm in the most annoying way, so I'm not sure it's really helpful. I dutifully administer the horrid Fragmin injections...
In June 2003 my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer-we were devastated but for 11 and a half years he was fine and dandy, still worked as a builder and continued wheeling and dealing with very few or no effects.This year he began going down hill but managed to go to Benidorm and manage his beloved pigeons.Things deteriorated and he eventually passed away 3 weeks ago on 12th November.
May 2014-Mam,aged 69 fit and well,looks fab.Saw GP with a cough and small bit of blood coughed up twice-chest...
So we have reached an expected and unpleasant turning point in this terrible journey. My father is struggling to mobilse. The night before he fell before he could get back into bed and last night he was not able to get out of bed before he could get to the toilet. The result was predictable.
First thing on Monday morning, I was the first in line at the GPs surgery. It was again an interesting lesson on being on the other side and having medical knowledge but feeling powerless. Despite my critiscism...
So my minor cold kicked in this morning and rendered me unable to get out of bed. In the grand scheme of things it was rather pathetic. But I slept until midday then managed to get out of bed and resume a semi normal existence. While I was discharging most of my nasal contents my younger sister was sent to my flat to ‘take care of me’. Which entailed making herself comfortable on my sofa while I cooked lunch. We reminisced about the good old days and we worried about our current situation. We watched...
Why don't they tell you about the effects your left with after having cancer and its treatment?
Its bad enough being told "You have cancer"
Then you get sicker from having chemo. During chemo my veins in one arm corded and collapsed. "Oh great" something else to contend with. Then I get my picc line in, great I thought give my veins a rest they will soon be better. "WRONG"
Have Herceptin finished all my treatment May 2014. Yay I hear you say oh how I wish it was...
Another evening at home with my parents. I finished work at 6pm and drove straight home. I am very tired I kept falling asleep at the traffic lights, seems opening the window did not help much.
Home this evening was a challenge. My father seems to much the same as yesterday, asleep with little to say. For some reason I found it more distressing today. In fact brought me to tears which is not really normal for me. I have been crying pretty much all evening - but in a way that only I know. I am...
So, my luxurious time of doubt in the presence of God is over.
I am now praying everyday for his grace and mercy. I am praying for a miracle.
I am praying in a way that I never really prayed before.
I am trusting that God will see us through, that God will see us right.
While I am physically kneeling on the ground and clasping my hands together, mentally I am walking a tight rope. I am trying not to look down but to look up. I am learning to be grateful for every small thing in a way...
