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I was allowed home on day release on Sunday. It was wonderful, home cooked food (who manages to survive on nhs food?) and most importantly cuddles with my with babies.
I breastfed them. It was relaxing and Affirming. I slept in our bed and had sleepy cuddles with them.
Yesterday I came back to hospital to be seen by the pain team. Or not as it turned out. Too busy to see me I guess. So another day wasted, who knows how many of those I have? I should be spending as many as possible with my beautiful...
I am sitting here at 3am rolling around in pain as per. I have taken everything I can. I just have to manage.
So I am watching Brad Pitt because I figure if I am in pain he at least might make me smile?
They want to help. The nurses are caring and understanding but I am angry. Angry that I have this thing, angry it wasn't found sooner and angry that I wanted it to be someone else. I wanted someone to have this pain, this uncertainty and this Hell.
Yesterday I started telling people. Hardest thing...
Hi, yesterday I got the worst news. The news no one wants to hear in their 30s. I have cancer. I am a mum to four children, Inc a set of 19 month old twin boys. How has this happened to me? I did what I expect most people do in my position. Cry. A lot. My face is sore today.
My wonderful husband has taken the news with great dignity I think, not like me. My parents had mixed reactions too.
I can't keep things this massive in.
I am a talker. So. I think I will talk my way through this. It...
I love you Sarah – and I choose to live…
I’m quite a private person but I’m sharing something personal to me. Why? Because all too often we just exist – we put off what we want to do or what we want to say. Don’t.
We all have a choice – I choose to live life in memory of my fabulous sister and live it to the full…it’s here to be enjoyed.
I’m living. But I’m not really. I am simply existing.
I am doing what is required to get through...
Well this is a turn up, and very stressfull,i had my scan ,blood tests at the royal marsden 1st may, 6 weeks after my preop scan and three. Weeks after my op
well the scan came up with the best results my consultant had hoped for, yes still two growing nodules/lessions/tumors in my left lung, but still small
and clear right, and two decreased tumor markers, we discussed the st barts option and i was advidsed to hold off.
they wanted to look at RFA with there new shiny toy at chelsea, so i waited
...
Recently I had to fancy dress a book character and apart from the obvious fairy tales I thought of the wig days and then chose to be Bridget Jones...
You look at me like I have changed,
It wasn’t my intention,
They said I’d die,
But that’s a lie,
And something you can’t mention…
You look, but then you look away,
Is this a real bad hair day?
The style's not swell,
I don't feel well,
More core than disarray....
I’d sit a rabbit on my head,
At least I...
We have had a good start to our week, we had our MRI results which showed Kee's tumour is stable and has shrunk, her eyes have improved, but aren't perfect. But we got the ok to go to disney so we have booked for all 6 of us to go in June and we are looking forward to that, fingers crossed things stay as they are so we can enjoy it properly.
I now also feel so selfish for feeling overwhelmed when she is the one going through this dreadful disease and these awful medications, but having 4...
Day 1: Sunday, 17 May 2015
2.45pm: Arrive at Ward 10, a men-only ward at the Cancer Centre, accompanied by my wife and 2 sons – definitely feeling a tad nervous. Shown by a rather formal male nurse ‘A’ to my allotted bed, next to a window overlooking greenery – very soothing. Another, more chatty, male nurse ‘T’ arrives first to take pulse, blood pressure and temperature, then an ECG check for my heart, and finally hands me a swab for my nose and groin required for MRSA testing – so glad that...
This is a blog to perhaps give hope and encouragement, to explain and finally to give thanks.
I was given a diagnosis of terminal. lung cancer "perhaps 18 months" . If your reading this you do not need me to tell you of the impact of that sort of statement. I was put on two courses of the "Plat" Chemo which failed to have any impact. Then 30 days of consecutive radiation resulting in a collapsed lung and pneumonia and waking up to find myself in the cough and spit ward in the local...
I don't really know where to start my dads lost about 5 stone over the past 2 years and his doctor put it down to his pain medication for his back!! He said that's what was causing the bad stomach and diarrhoea, we went to his back specialist has he is in a lot of pain with his back and he told me he couldn't do a urine sample as it was like diarrhoea coming from his front!! I told him this wasn't normal and off he went back to the doctors who said it was a urine infection, he had blood tests and...
