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A chemotherapy cycle is like a merry go round in my eyes, I am stuck on this one for what should be 21 days however given my first cycle didn’t go quite to plan at the moment it is 14 days and at the end of that time I get to hop off the ride for a week and then begin the whole thing all over again on a continuous loop for as long as the drug keeps working.
Hi, I would like to share the next part of my life's story
what My future holds (16yrs Later)
If anyone would like to know to what My future holds without my parents,Hello to all on this sunny Sunday morning .
Why is it I was worrying so much about the physical side effects of chemo. It never occuref how hard it would be emotionally, ups and downs that I've never experienced it my life, it's scarey, never cried and shouted so much in these last three weeks .
I have had sore mouth, tiredness and Been in hospital for nuertrprenia sore throat but compared to my emotions that was doable.
I've experienced stuff I'd never invasaged...
So at the age of 43 i found out i had breast cancer. Now you can think "oh that's so unfair" and "i am so sorry" but life is i am afraid, unfair and never sorry. Instead of having another baby (that most of my friends where at that point ) i had cancer. So when my oncologist informed me that this will be at least a nine month to a year battle i took it stoically, instead of having a baby i was going to have to fight cancer. A lot of worrying and pain involved in both and the end results would be...
Well just a few more days to go until the end of the dreaded month of April. All in all, it has been been a good month. No major health concerns, much less vivid reminders of the horrors of cancer treatments, basically it has been everything I ever dreamed of.
Still, time rolls on and I remain blissfully uncomfortable. I won’t bore you with the details but I can’t stop myself trying to find the answer to the unanswerable question. Last April, I needed a fast-forward button. Now I need a pause button...
Well its been 3 weeks since my diagnosis of Vulva cancer. I don't even like using that word, no-one knows where or what the vulva is. So I just say I have cancer of the groin. I say that because I find it hard to sit down and get in and out of my car, even walking hurts now. But what hurts most of all is peoples misunderstanding of the emotions you go through on a minute by minute basis. Do I start making a will, do I arrange my affairs, do I book a holiday, do I plan to go a concert in 2 months...
So, I have a real problem sometimes getting my meds from the pharmacy. I've no idea why this is a problem, because it should be a really simple procedure.
Simple right? Apparently not!
A week ago last Monday they called and I requested the specific meds I needed, which...
F*ck them!
I have something stronger in mind, because I am both raging and in tears, but I've been whapped before for swearing on here and I don't fancy it again.
But seriously. F*ck them!!!
You know what? Trying to navigate your way through a cancer diagnosis and the treatments on offer is not easy. In fact, it's bloody difficult sometimes. You're told that this is what's happening inside of your body, and then there is treatment 1, 2, 3, 4, and on. Then you're asked...
Heartbroken. Numb. Tortured. Relieved. All words describe how I feel today. Had only just set out today when I had the call from my brother. He had arrived at the hospice and had given mum a kiss when she let out a breath. It was to be her final one, she had waited for him to arrive. I am devastated that I wasn't with her but at the same time comforted that she wasn't on her own.
I don't know if I shall post any more blogs. It's time to grieve, and for now I can indulge myself and say...
I'm sitting with mum on my own writing this today. Arrived about 1pm, my brother had been here since just after 8.30am. Mum was asleep, but there was a noticeable difference in her breathing today. This is something I've almost been looking out for, another sign that she is nearing the end. She's been quite settled all day, just a little agitation, but nothing really to talk about. That is, until my brother went to leave, and there was a definite reaction. Was it because he was fussing over her...
