I started writing this quite a while ago as an update, then it was a Merry Christmas message, so Happy New Year.
There has been an awful lot going on but it’s no excuse. I’ve sat down in front of the laptop on many occasions but just haven’t had the motivation to write anything. For this I apologise.
Well what’s happened.
Firstly, I must mention the birth of my granddaughter Eadie. I know I’m biased but he is an absolute angel. She always makes me smile. She is so beautiful. She has given me yet another reason to keep fighting.
In early October I started my 4th cycle of Irinotocan and Capecitabine. All went ok but, on the day, after I started to get stomach cramps. I read about the side effects of Irinotocan and one was stomach cramps. I thought they would pass. Gradually that day they started getting worse and overnight became extremely painful. The next morning I vomited what must have been an entire day’s food.
I rang the emergency number at the hospital and was told to come in. I was admitted, scanned and had an NG (Nasal Gastric) tube inserted into my stomach via my nose. This was not a pleasant experience.
I was diagnosed with a blockage in my small bowel (I don’t have a large one anymore). It was hoped that the blockage would eventually shift, On the 5th day (I was nil by mouth since being admitted) it was decided to operate.
The surgeon found that I had a constricted small bowel caused by adhesions from previous surgery. By all accounts they had to untangle a large amount of my small bowel but fortunately didn’t need to reposition Beryl (My stoma). After the operation when I was recovering from the anaesthetic I thought I was in a car repair shop and accused the staff of trying to sell me a car. A few minutes later and reality dawned, What a wally!
After surgery my digestive system went on strike. Nothing for 4 days then Vesuvius. I was even given a bigger bag to take the output. After 12 days of nil by mouth I was allowed to eat, starting with jelly and ice cream. God I hate jelly now! Finally things levelled out and I was discharged. But I was so weak having been restricted to bed for lots of the time due to my mobility issues plus the lack of food.
I’ve recovered well from the surgery but still get very tired. Since my surgery I’ve not had any chemo.
But I did have a new set of scans including an MRI on my spine to see if there was anything amiss. Thankfully there wasn’t.
The results of the scans have been difficult to process. I have two tumours in my liver but also a tumour growing on my sciatic nerve. This may go to explain my leg issues. However, surgery is not an option on this. I will be having chemo plus radiotherapy. Because it cannot be certain that all the cancer has been ‘removed’ I am now deemed to be incurable. This has had an impact in that because I could have possible stray cancer cells around my sciatic nerve which could end up back in my liver any potential lresection now won’t happen.
Seems quite complicated to me but that is the situation. What will be will be. Also, it means that I won’t be subject to yet another operation with all its attendant risks and issues.
I’ve never had radiotherapy before so I will be interested to see how I cope with this plus my resumption of chemo. I have appointments next week with both my medical oncologist and my clinical oncologist (Radiologist} with a view to restart chemo on the 11th. The next few weeks will be interesting to say the least.
So, we’re up to date but how do I feel. This time last year I was getting pains in my leg but I was NED (No evidence of disease) and looking forward. Today I have lost the use of my left leg, I have a recurrence of my cancer, I’m deemed to be incurable and facing a difficult period of chemoradiation.
AND I’M STILL LOOKING FORWARD!
Yes, things have changed but I’m still here. I feel fit enough to take on my treatment. I’ve arranged possible transport to and from hospital if I feel unable to do it myself. So bring it on! I’ve never been one to bury my head in the sand and hope it all goes away. I’ll face every challenge that comes my way.
I’m not always Mr. Happy. I do have my dark moments but thankfully from my counselling I have methods to cope with this. When I’m feeling low I just look at some photos of my beautiful granddaughter and everything is sunshine. There is still so much I want to do and see and while I have the strength to do it I will.
Happy New Year
Pete
Ps during my last chemo my hair started to thin. However, it’s growing back but much darker. I haven’t been at the ‘Just for Men’ honest.
