Welcome to my unusually titled blog, I had best explain before we go further I suppose. Two days ago I had a conversation with a lovely lady doctor/consultant called Sybil Stacpoole who informed me I have a growth in my brain that shouldn’t be there. This 23mm long interloper is causing me to have epilepsy (more on that subject in a future installment) which is what led me to my local hospitals Neurology department and my lovely caring consultant.
I’ve had two MRI Scans in pretty quick succession, where they found said growth. The doctor showed me the scans and you can clearly see the growth on the side of my brain.
Now as you can imagine when you’re told you have something like this, you end up telling the same information, or story if you will, to an awful lot of people.
Family, close friends, work colleagues, more distant friends and then pretty much anyone dumb enough to stop for a few minutes and listen to you witter on, or worse still make the mistake of asking you how you are.
It was after the 40th retelling of my news, I grew sick of using the word ‘growth’ it hasn’t yet reached the heady heights of ‘tumour’ so I can’t really use that as an honest description.
So, a bit like the met office naming storms, I decided to name the growth. Various suggestions were made, most were swiftly dismissed, frankly for being far to offensive. Until I settled on Cyril the arsehole, I’m sure most Cyril’s are genuinely lovely chaps, but in this case the 23mm one in my head is an absolute arsehole.
He has disrupted my life, stopped me doing things I love and just generally fucked things up in the last few months, so an arsehole of the largest variety he is.
So please come and join me on my neurological journey, if nothing else hopefully you can have a laugh at my expense and quite possibly witness a 50 year old man have a complete nervous and mental breakdown on social media. 
And don’t worry as horrendous as some of this has been so far and might yet become, you’re allowed to laugh, I know I am.
Cheers Martin, Cyril’s current Landlord. 
