I went down to the funeral director on Saturday as he was a friend. He has let me do the whole start to finish for her. When Lesley was in his care he let me clean her face from the blood where the cancer was and spend time with her that day. I chose the coffin and waited until that came to dress Les in her favourite leggings and a jumper which she looked gorgeous in. I put my t shirt under it to keep her warm. With a pair of slippers that she liked to wear around the house. I got help from our son to lift Les into the coffin which took its toll afterwards on our mental health but I placed her favourite marigolds gloves with her sprayed some perfume her favourite and said I’d be back. Saturday just gone I went to see her for her final chat and placed a love letter which she could read while waiting for me. I sprayed more of her perfume. Kissed her head and rested my head on her chest for a while I was ready to place the lid on the coffin. Since then I’ve lost my temper feeling life isn’t nothing to live for. I’m hear lying in bed dreading to get up my thoughts of not being able to ever see her again is overwhelming she has a lovely service our daughter has prepared a presentation of her life and just that alone means an end I have a step daughter which has ruined our grieving process she has been such a bitch no one could write it. I be had to ask police for help but that’s another story. Today is about les and I hope we are strong enough to get through it.
thanks for being there. Mark. X
Thanks 
