Hello everyone......it has been awhile

I have had a very hard life Geoff my dear, we both did. what i write here is just a fraction of the troubles we went through. He got us through it all. Buut in theory TS Elliot doesn't really apply to me as I never really was ever single. I was 15 when we met. Courting at 16, engaged after 12 weeks and married 8 months later...so I was a little girl at home with parents one day and the next a teenage wife.....so I have never really been single and never ever lived alone or had to fend for myself. I have no idea how I survived this long or why tbh. I adored both parents, I lost a grandchild aged 3 yr 10mth....but a partner, a soulmate is like no other as they know you inside out. You are intimate with them and we were together so long we were melded into one soul. We had a teenaged obsession that never grew old. We never had lads or girls nights apart....only time we were not with each other was hozi stuff or for work etc. We did all the stuff folk say is unhealthy...lived in each others pockets. My parents died 1993 & 98 yet i still have an item of their clothes I can still smell them on. I cry sometimes. I have Johns and if i can still smell my parents on 20 odd yr old clothes, you can imagine the evocative properties of Johns only 2 ys. on ...So you see, I don't have a place to go back to as I was never single.....his passing left me a mental breakdown it brought memory loss and a huge speech defect... I accept my lot but the pain is indescribable.  I do thank you for your kindness though it means more than you know. xx