Husband died yesterday

I know exactly what you mean, I was looking through my diary to transfer birthdays etc and it was full of hospital appointments, chemo, scans etc, so sad xxx

Sending you big hugs right back 

So sorry to have to say "Hello" to new members who have  joined during the past few days... I say sorry because that means more of our beloved partners have been taken by this cruel bloody disease.

I returned home today from being with my daughter for the past week...(she refused to let me be alone at christmas and new year as I think she was worried what I might do).  But coming back into the house was horrible..like losing him again. I've been trying to tell myself that he's been working and I would see him when I went home.

I've  just changed the calendar and like others on here  have looked at last year's. Mark was diagnosed on New Year's Eve  so January was filled with appointments for scans, xrays etc  this year is a bit fat blank just loads of "This time last year memories" 

How can we be left with this awfulness ... does it last forever?  

This goes out to all of you guys who have recently lost your special person...

The light at the end of tunnel now is a tiny pinprick, but it will grow be it slowly and the dark and gloom will lift.

Please give yourselves permission to grieve, permission to feel awful, permission to tell the rest of the world (including me) to sod off.

However please also give yourselves permission to hope, permission to smile, permission to allow yourselves time and self care on this dark and sometimes back and forth journey.

Also give yourselves full permission to do things your way and remember the good times....

Well said mccmcc you are so right

Thank you for those words. It’s reassuring hearing that from others who know how it feels. I’m currently at the angry phase for being left, even though I I now my hubby desperately fought to stay. Also guilty phase for having reasonably okay days just 3 weeks in. 
x

That is so true Mccmcc. I have certainly found that.

The tunnel is long but I have found some light now 

Love and hugs to everyone and so sorry for your loss Susannah 

Alison xxx

Sending you the biggest hug back Sarah xx