I am sorry to hear of your losses. I am approaching 2 years without my husband and feeling somewhat sensitive to another milestone.
By now you will understand that there are no stages of grief that you go through in a linear fashion. Its a mess and there will always be times when we all feel vulnerable. That's normal and is okay! With time you will recognise these points in your life and handle them the best way you can. For me, this year diwali (festival of light) fell on the same day as my husband's birthday. I chose to light a fire in the garden and have a few drinks with a friend to celebrate. With lockdown, this was the best way I could do something to celebrate diwali and remember Richard. Not ashamed to say it but we ended up dancing in the garden! I also am so glad that I mentioned the significance of the date to a friend so I did not end up being alone on that day.
Just wanted to send you are bug virtual hug and let you know that you are not alone. Let us know how you get on. Since the changes there does appear ro be less activity (from me included!) but there is always someone here....
