Struggling

Hi Mishmash

Sorry you have had to join this group, though you will get a lot of support from it.

My hubby passed a year ago this month and i was doing really well, but lately i have gone back down, because i have realized this is real and he is not coming home.

It is so hard and no one really knows how one fills, but we do here. and every one is so different some move forward quicker than others.

I just do one day at a time, and then a week has gone.

We have to carry on for them that is what they would want.

Others will pop in and give there view, some one is always here so you are not alone.

Take Care Ellie x

Hi Ellie, 

Thank you for replying to me.

I'm sorry to hear that you lost your husband to. The realisation of them not coming back is hard. And as you say no one really knows show each individual feels as we are all different. As you say we have to carry on as it's what our husbands wanted. My husband made that clear before he passed. I wish I had joined this group sooner but I felt it would be admitting failure. Even though I know that's not true. It's nice to talk with other people who have experienced the same loss.

Take care

Michelle. X 

Hi Michelle

People here really do understand how one is feeling  only people that have threw this grief no.

My children lost there dad, but it is not the same as losing your other hal, half of you has gone.

I was lost i did not know who i was on my own, was always the two of us, i found that hard, but gradually  i have done things i have never done before, have surprised myself but has taken a while.

Take Care Ellie x

Hi Michelle 

Ellie has always been a good virtual friend to me it’s been 10 months nearly for me like Ellie says one day at a time try and keep busy their is always some to listen why you want to vent and moan or just shout and you are really down and if you need to cry sit and cry 

take care 

martin 

Hi Ellie, 

It must be awful for your children but as you say loosing the love of your life is horrendous. My husban and myself like you spent all our time together. My whole purpose was him. But I'm at work again so that helps. It is surprising what you do when you need to.

Take care

Michelle. X

Hi Martin,

I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes Ellie sounds like a good virtual friend as I'm sure many of you are. I try to keep busy as much as possible and been back at work helps. I have had a lot of tears sometimes over stupid things. It's so nice to talk to people who don't judge and totally understand what your going through and how you feel.

Take care

Michelle

Hi Michelle 

sorry for loss too no one will judge you on here it’s strange doing everything for your self. I just need to learn to cook better lol and you have to try and have laugh even if it makes you cry  music and film can do that as I know 

i know in the summer Ellie was doing her garden and that kept her busy 
I even change the colour in every room 

take care 

Martin 

Thank you Martin. Yes it's funny how when a song plays I listen to the words more than I ever did. Think it's because we appreciate the simple things in life more now than ever. At the beginning I felt guilty for laughing or smiling. I still do sometimes but not as much. I have done some bits in the garden and we had started to decorate at the beginning of lockdown do I'm carrying that on. I'm sure in time your cooking skills will be second to none.

Take care

Michelle. 

Hi Michelle 

have you been through the binge eating stage loads of chocolate and junk food 

you are staying busy that’s good the guilt still have it some days  I had a week off work then thought we should have been going on a cruise for two weeks then had bad dreams then pull yourself together again brush your self down brave face carry on 

cooking is getting worse shepherds pie slow cooker Casserole. sausage cooked in oven and the ready meal isle And I found ribeye stake is easy to cook then rump  but it’s Friday so fish and chips tonight 

take care 

Martin 

Martin Where you been,  have been looking out for you, are you doing ok

Take Care Ellie